I hate technology. It is useful for nothing but building things to ruin people's lives and the rest of the world. (If you don't believe me, ask Cyberdyne about the T-800 model coming out soon.) I woke up this afternoon to find that my computer has lost it's mind...or harddrive, same thing. Well, it probably has. The power light comes on, but that's it. That puts a dent in my day because now I cannot make myself temporarily deaf blaring music through my wonderful speakers. I looked for the nearest sledgehammer to bash it with, but alas I could find none. All I could even find was a few sheets of paper and a straw. Of course the straw was the most obvious choice since the paper would take more damage that it would give. (I think computers are immune to paper cuts.) So I proceeded to stab the bugger repeatedly with a straw. The computer was not amused.....neither was I....I think it should die a horrible painful death by burning. I would make that happen, but all my stuff is in it that I need. If it does not comply by 12 A.M. eastern standard time, I am going to take it in the back yard, strap C4 to it, and blow it into Osama Bin Laden's back yard where he is trying to find a nice cozy place to use the loo, and it will hit him in the head, killing him on impact. That is my way of eliminating two threats at once. I could talk about this all night....but unfortunately, to keep you interested (or just reading) I must move on.
In case you are wondering why I am missing two days of post, there is indeed an explanation. I consider Friday night "Unacceptable boredom night". It was 12:30 in the morning and I, of course, was bored stiff. Brent was on so I asked him if he wanted to go creat mass panic, chaos, and mayhem around town. Of course he did. I picked him up and we went to Wal-Mart. He tried on Halloween masks while I read every available bumper sticker. He finally decided on the one that looked like the doped up masked guy from Scary Movie and put a purple velvet pimp looking hat on top of it. He then proceeded to go up to the video screens and jump back and forth at the cameras. It was funny for the first 30 minutes. After an hour I just left him. We came home and watched Terminator 2 (the greatest movie ever btw) and then went to Hardee's. He fell asleep in the car but the moment the soda entered his mouth from the straw he was more hyper than I ever thought feasible to imagine. He found the voice settings on my laptop and for over an hour amused himself by making the computer say,"I'm gay." over and over. He reminds me so much of Till. We ended up going to bed around 8:30 and getting back up around 4:30. Only because my mother's lovely voice was screaming over the speakerphone at very loud decibles and one must either get up or go deaf.
I have this really good friend that I keep losing track of for whatever reason. She has two kids and she's really really cool. Just in case you didn't know that yet. We stayed up until 4 A.M. talking about how sexy Christoph was and how much of a turn on his voice was and then her husband walked in the room and she said,"did I say it was what I wanted in a man? I meant what YOU wanted....yes....that's what I meant." Everyone knows they want him. It's just a fact by now. MUAHAHAHA. Sorry...moving on....
What is it about me and people doing things to make me wreck? I would type out the whole story...but I don't really feel like it. So I'll give you the short version. I was forced to hit a dog and I almost hit another car when I tried to pass it and it slammed on the brakes for some unknown reason. The dog was one big mofo so of course there is now a dent in my beautiful Eclipse. I am not amused. But still...life goes on....we stumble through it and what not...we are only truly content when we die, but we deal with what we are given in this sort of weird twisted fate...
~~~"Can I castrate you? and hang it on the door as a wreath for all to see?"
Montag, September 30, 2002
Freitag, September 27, 2002
I can't believe it. The impossible has happened. I am actually out of sarcastic comments and things to say. It's the end of the world as we all know it! Our existance that has been hanging in the balance has been dropped from it's tiny thread and soon we shall be no more! OK, excuse my mental breakdown. Now it is time to get to business...
Life is boring. That's all it is. I can't make it exciting right now because all it is....once again.....is boring. I do feel, however, that it's going to pick up again once the fur hits the fan with "former friends". I have a lot of those. But I care pas. Otherwise I couldn't have put "former" in front of "Friends" and would still be kissing their hairy butt to this day. But everybody knows that's not me. So....again I say.....I have more "former friends" than friends.
I need a job. I need a hobby. I need SOMETHING. Life in a house may have been great for the Little House on the Prairie people...but me......I was not made for this. I need to travel and see the world and right now the only world I'm seeing is the one on my atlas. But soon....soon I SHALL TRIUMPH! MUAHAHAHAA
If you've never seen Terminator 2 I suggest you do so. The only thing that strikes more fear into my heart than anything is seeing a giant, massive, red-eyed, metal mass with a large gun and almost indestructible endoskeleton. The game is no different. I almost wet myself everytime I see one coming and somehow manage to shoot aimlessly while screaming,"DIE! DIE!" only to realize I am apparently talking about myself. I go through more lives quicker than Brent goes through Wild Berry Skittles. That's why I must start my batallion for the machine war NOW. That way I'll have enough men together and trained that I can send them out to kill them for me and I won't have to hide in a corner and do nothing but wet myself and hope that shocks them to death. Yes....being brave is a hard job, but someone has to do it.
I have nothing else to say. I really had nothing to say to start with except "cheese poofies". Yes.....that is STILL funny. That's what I'm going to call my first album. "cheese poofies". The name of my second album you might ask? Well that would be "The Return of the Cheese Poofies" of course. And so on and so on.
Ah yes...contentness....such a great thing. 'Til next time. (and the morning.....____) haha, Lori.
~~~"Screw you guys I'm goin' home"
Life is boring. That's all it is. I can't make it exciting right now because all it is....once again.....is boring. I do feel, however, that it's going to pick up again once the fur hits the fan with "former friends". I have a lot of those. But I care pas. Otherwise I couldn't have put "former" in front of "Friends" and would still be kissing their hairy butt to this day. But everybody knows that's not me. So....again I say.....I have more "former friends" than friends.
I need a job. I need a hobby. I need SOMETHING. Life in a house may have been great for the Little House on the Prairie people...but me......I was not made for this. I need to travel and see the world and right now the only world I'm seeing is the one on my atlas. But soon....soon I SHALL TRIUMPH! MUAHAHAHAA
If you've never seen Terminator 2 I suggest you do so. The only thing that strikes more fear into my heart than anything is seeing a giant, massive, red-eyed, metal mass with a large gun and almost indestructible endoskeleton. The game is no different. I almost wet myself everytime I see one coming and somehow manage to shoot aimlessly while screaming,"DIE! DIE!" only to realize I am apparently talking about myself. I go through more lives quicker than Brent goes through Wild Berry Skittles. That's why I must start my batallion for the machine war NOW. That way I'll have enough men together and trained that I can send them out to kill them for me and I won't have to hide in a corner and do nothing but wet myself and hope that shocks them to death. Yes....being brave is a hard job, but someone has to do it.
I have nothing else to say. I really had nothing to say to start with except "cheese poofies". Yes.....that is STILL funny. That's what I'm going to call my first album. "cheese poofies". The name of my second album you might ask? Well that would be "The Return of the Cheese Poofies" of course. And so on and so on.
Ah yes...contentness....such a great thing. 'Til next time. (and the morning.....____) haha, Lori.
~~~"Screw you guys I'm goin' home"
Mittwoch, September 25, 2002
Have you ever stuck your face outside a car window going 65 M.P.H? If not, I highly reccommend it. To feel the wind catching under your lips making them flap back as if you've had some sort of plastic sugery gone bad is exhilerating. Yes....the good life. I want to live fast-paced. Something dangerous. I've decided to try and make it as a stunt driver if I can't go into the FBI. Or maybe go ahead and get my own batallion of men together for the machine war coming up in 2027. Either way, I've got a lot of work cut out for me. I have nothing else left to say for once......'tis all for now.....
Dienstag, September 24, 2002
There are days when one wakes up and is a completely different person alltogether. If you have never experienced such a rush, I suggest you try it. Since my deja vu sense is tingling, I get the feeling I've said this before. Oh well...I'm saying it again. I like the new me. It's invigorating. If you don't...I don't care. I probably don't like you either. If I do, I won't soon enough. Point being...you are about to get advice from Dr. Thril....second cousin to Dr. Phil and twice as good. Do not try and make a relationship work if you are the only one trying to make it work. Just give up and save yourself the trouble. If they're willing to work on it, it's a different story. If not....bag the bugger and move on.
Trust is a very important thing. If you don't have it, you don't have a lot. However, people have to earn your trust. Once they have it, they shouldn't abuse it. If they do, then they must start all over.
Even the good things come to an end....life is not a movie. Deal with it.
If you don't know what you believe, you will believe anything.
You must have a reason to reason....if not....you have no reason to be reasoning.
Life is what you make it. Not how you take it. Screw that quote. Who cares how you take it? Take it and throw it back if you don't like it I say.
Dream the impossible. Realists are the 9-5 workers driving the old pick-up trucks and living in the run down trailor parks swimming in debt.
Opportunity never knocks at all. It merely passes by. When it does, that's when you rip the door off the hinges and tackle it in the street.
No one is looking out for you. Look out for yourself (and falling objects)
Miracles happen. Don't let anyone tell you they don't.
Live a little......only then will you have a life.
I can be seen on Oprah every Tuesday at 4 P.M. Eastern time. I'm the bald guy with the mustasche who looks exactly like Dr. Phil. However, I am not. I am his double. That is all....
Trust is a very important thing. If you don't have it, you don't have a lot. However, people have to earn your trust. Once they have it, they shouldn't abuse it. If they do, then they must start all over.
Even the good things come to an end....life is not a movie. Deal with it.
If you don't know what you believe, you will believe anything.
You must have a reason to reason....if not....you have no reason to be reasoning.
Life is what you make it. Not how you take it. Screw that quote. Who cares how you take it? Take it and throw it back if you don't like it I say.
Dream the impossible. Realists are the 9-5 workers driving the old pick-up trucks and living in the run down trailor parks swimming in debt.
Opportunity never knocks at all. It merely passes by. When it does, that's when you rip the door off the hinges and tackle it in the street.
No one is looking out for you. Look out for yourself (and falling objects)
Miracles happen. Don't let anyone tell you they don't.
Live a little......only then will you have a life.
I can be seen on Oprah every Tuesday at 4 P.M. Eastern time. I'm the bald guy with the mustasche who looks exactly like Dr. Phil. However, I am not. I am his double. That is all....
Montag, September 23, 2002
Editor's note: I do not want to post tonight. I bargained with another friend who I did not think was up to the challenge. I lost. That sucks....because now I must post...
I did nothing today. And how do we spell nothing boys and girls? B-O-R-E-D-O-M. Yes.....that's right. I did manage to somehow completely tire myself out by doing as little as driving to Wal-Mart. I felt like a fat man in an ice cream shop. Running around wanting all the goodies and then all of a sudden, when you are so close, the heart attack comes along and you die two inches away from a double scoop of moosetracks. Ok, so maybe it wasn't that bad. But it was bad. I faded in and out of extreme tiredness and should have caved in hours ago. However my obsessive-compulsive obsession to be nocturnal continues and that is stronger than my need for sleep.
Men are fickle, vile, disgusting, blood thirsty, energy sucking rats sent to us by Satan to destroy us in the worst way possible. We fall in love with them. Yes....'tis true. He will use any means necessary to diguise them as normal human beings. They are not. They are Demons! Straight from Hell!!!! Well....I don't have problems or anything. and I take it back.........not all men are fickle, vile, disgusting, blood thirsty, energy sucking rats sent to us by Satan to destroy us in the worst way possible. Take Christoph for example. He's a good guy ;) A little weird at times....but good nonetheless. The rest of the male population (except for Brent and the best friend and bodyguard and confidant I've ever had as far as guys are concerned....Josh.) are pigs. Complete with big stomachs, pinkish-red skin, big noses, and oinking sounds. Oh yeah....they have hooves and corkscrew tails too. You just don't know it. So why am I bitter at men? I'm not...
Maybe one day I will change my mind...but as for now...no.
I hate being bothered when I don't feel good. Especially when all I am is tired and I want to stare at the T.V. like a mindless drone with food hanging halfway out of my mouth and scrunched up into the "couch tater" position UNDISTURBED!! Is that too much to ask for? Just one moment of silence while I forget what I was doing, why I was doing it, and who I was in the first place. People always seem to interrupt my television Eutopia to ask the mind-numbing question,"What's wrong?" Well...what's wrong is YOU'RE BOTHERING ME!!!!!!!!!! But of course I have to be nice and politely smile and say,"oh...nothing really. I'm just tired." Yes....TIRED OF YOU BOTHERING ME!!!!! Do I seem bitter? Cause I feel it. I feel the love...it's all around me.
Older men are great. They are not trying to be "one of the boys" or figuring out what makes them tick (or doesn't) and they just have it all together in general. Granted, 36 is a little bit out there, but hey. As long as they don't look or act 36, right? Right. Now with that said....there's only one old guy I know I can stand and that would be Christoph. (Sorry babe....I hate to call you old...but to me...you are.) Ok wait I take that back...I know several. But they all know each other. Maybe that's why I like them. Ok anyway that's not the point. Never date boys. Date men....when the boys are grown.....THEN date them. This has been your dating advice from Heather, the questioneer to the people. That will be 375 dollars and 95 cents please. I accept Visa, Mastercard, and Discover. No checks....cash preferred. Buy 2 answers, get one of them free!
Well....that's all for now. May I also add that after months and months of work, I have FINALLY beaten 007: Agent Under Fire. I would think after all that I would get a really amazing ending. WRONG! It sucked and it left you hanging. If you have the game for the ending.....you will be sorely disappointed. You should just save your money and buy my merchandise instead :)
I did nothing today. And how do we spell nothing boys and girls? B-O-R-E-D-O-M. Yes.....that's right. I did manage to somehow completely tire myself out by doing as little as driving to Wal-Mart. I felt like a fat man in an ice cream shop. Running around wanting all the goodies and then all of a sudden, when you are so close, the heart attack comes along and you die two inches away from a double scoop of moosetracks. Ok, so maybe it wasn't that bad. But it was bad. I faded in and out of extreme tiredness and should have caved in hours ago. However my obsessive-compulsive obsession to be nocturnal continues and that is stronger than my need for sleep.
Men are fickle, vile, disgusting, blood thirsty, energy sucking rats sent to us by Satan to destroy us in the worst way possible. We fall in love with them. Yes....'tis true. He will use any means necessary to diguise them as normal human beings. They are not. They are Demons! Straight from Hell!!!! Well....I don't have problems or anything. and I take it back.........not all men are fickle, vile, disgusting, blood thirsty, energy sucking rats sent to us by Satan to destroy us in the worst way possible. Take Christoph for example. He's a good guy ;) A little weird at times....but good nonetheless. The rest of the male population (except for Brent and the best friend and bodyguard and confidant I've ever had as far as guys are concerned....Josh.) are pigs. Complete with big stomachs, pinkish-red skin, big noses, and oinking sounds. Oh yeah....they have hooves and corkscrew tails too. You just don't know it. So why am I bitter at men? I'm not...
Maybe one day I will change my mind...but as for now...no.
I hate being bothered when I don't feel good. Especially when all I am is tired and I want to stare at the T.V. like a mindless drone with food hanging halfway out of my mouth and scrunched up into the "couch tater" position UNDISTURBED!! Is that too much to ask for? Just one moment of silence while I forget what I was doing, why I was doing it, and who I was in the first place. People always seem to interrupt my television Eutopia to ask the mind-numbing question,"What's wrong?" Well...what's wrong is YOU'RE BOTHERING ME!!!!!!!!!! But of course I have to be nice and politely smile and say,"oh...nothing really. I'm just tired." Yes....TIRED OF YOU BOTHERING ME!!!!! Do I seem bitter? Cause I feel it. I feel the love...it's all around me.
Older men are great. They are not trying to be "one of the boys" or figuring out what makes them tick (or doesn't) and they just have it all together in general. Granted, 36 is a little bit out there, but hey. As long as they don't look or act 36, right? Right. Now with that said....there's only one old guy I know I can stand and that would be Christoph. (Sorry babe....I hate to call you old...but to me...you are.) Ok wait I take that back...I know several. But they all know each other. Maybe that's why I like them. Ok anyway that's not the point. Never date boys. Date men....when the boys are grown.....THEN date them. This has been your dating advice from Heather, the questioneer to the people. That will be 375 dollars and 95 cents please. I accept Visa, Mastercard, and Discover. No checks....cash preferred. Buy 2 answers, get one of them free!
Well....that's all for now. May I also add that after months and months of work, I have FINALLY beaten 007: Agent Under Fire. I would think after all that I would get a really amazing ending. WRONG! It sucked and it left you hanging. If you have the game for the ending.....you will be sorely disappointed. You should just save your money and buy my merchandise instead :)
Sonntag, September 22, 2002
The human emotion is an evil, twisted thing. Just when you think you feel one way, you are lead to feel quite another. Then confusion takes over, followed by mass panic, and then just when you finally figure things out, it's all over. You have succumbed to Death's icy grip. Yes, Shakespeare had it all wrong. It is better to have never loved at all so you never know what you are missing. My advice to anyone who loves someone....get out while you can. Escape before it's too late. Before everything you know runs rampid into the dark abyss of nothingness never to see the light of day again. Run, I tell you, run!
You will have to excuse my insane babblings that come from where I do not know or wish to visit. All I know is it felt good to say.
Children are quite interesting are they not? They have the ability to get on one's nerves so much that one would rather be confined to a 4 by 6 cubicle doing sedentary motion 24 hours a day than spend 2 seconds with them. Maybe it is just me, but I for one cannot stand children. Especially babies. When I was a child I could not even stand myself. (sometimes that is still the case.) Just looking at them annoys me. Yesterday, however, I found the first child I have ever found adorable in my entire life. I thought I had gone mad. However I did come to the conclusion that my fascination with the girl does not count because of the fact she was computer generated. Yes....that is right. The only child I like isn't even real. Well, that's typical for me isn't it?
Dreams are an interesting thing. The only thing I have not yet been able to figure out because none of mine ever make sense...but I guess it's allowed 'cause I never make sense. In this dream last night, I was in a movie in London doing all kinds of special effects for some movie. My friend Pam and I walked in the door to an Irish pub (apparently you walk through a door and go from London to Ireland) and we had to lay on our stomachs and crawl up an incline to get into a vast theater. We stayed a second and then started to go out the back door. That's when I woke up to my mother's incoherent muttering of some sort, to which I nodded in agreement and went back to sleep. I love weekdays. They are the only days I am not bothered by such domestic disturbance.
Well....I am completely out of thought processes, so I believe I shall retire here....
~~~"Dead?! What do you mean he's dead?!" "His spirit is gone but his stench remains. Does that answer your question?!"
You will have to excuse my insane babblings that come from where I do not know or wish to visit. All I know is it felt good to say.
Children are quite interesting are they not? They have the ability to get on one's nerves so much that one would rather be confined to a 4 by 6 cubicle doing sedentary motion 24 hours a day than spend 2 seconds with them. Maybe it is just me, but I for one cannot stand children. Especially babies. When I was a child I could not even stand myself. (sometimes that is still the case.) Just looking at them annoys me. Yesterday, however, I found the first child I have ever found adorable in my entire life. I thought I had gone mad. However I did come to the conclusion that my fascination with the girl does not count because of the fact she was computer generated. Yes....that is right. The only child I like isn't even real. Well, that's typical for me isn't it?
Dreams are an interesting thing. The only thing I have not yet been able to figure out because none of mine ever make sense...but I guess it's allowed 'cause I never make sense. In this dream last night, I was in a movie in London doing all kinds of special effects for some movie. My friend Pam and I walked in the door to an Irish pub (apparently you walk through a door and go from London to Ireland) and we had to lay on our stomachs and crawl up an incline to get into a vast theater. We stayed a second and then started to go out the back door. That's when I woke up to my mother's incoherent muttering of some sort, to which I nodded in agreement and went back to sleep. I love weekdays. They are the only days I am not bothered by such domestic disturbance.
Well....I am completely out of thought processes, so I believe I shall retire here....
~~~"Dead?! What do you mean he's dead?!" "His spirit is gone but his stench remains. Does that answer your question?!"
Samstag, September 21, 2002
The German language is the shiz-nit. I never realized how expressive it is. It may sound disgusting, but underneath all the sounds of a man dying lies pure beauty. I have surrounded myself in the world of German music. Mostly Rammstein....occasionally others that have grown on me. I am obsessed....I care pas. I seem to have a dire need to do things no one else is doing at the moment. Ah, the strive for uniqueness is a long on-going quest that never ends. Hence the name of the blog...what wonderfully screwed up lives we lead indeed.
I love realizations. They are the very source of my existance. Well...sort of. Have you ever awakened one day only to find yourself really looking at the world for the first time and finding it nowhere near how you had been seeing it? In one instant you become a completely different person and the rush is more intense than anything imaginable. Nothing bothers you anymore. I used to be upset when people didn't like me, when they refused to acknowledge my presence as a human being existing in this mass expansion of matter we call a world. Like everyone else, I got very upset when teased or ridiculed. (which in my case was often). Yes...one day I woke up and realize this world is down the loo....never to return. It has been kidnapped by the dark one himself. Except for a close few, no one is going to be there for me. Many will try to take advantage of me, many will try to hurt me, and so on and so on. The old me would be troubled by this. The new me doesn't care. I have my friends and they mean everything to me. It is your choice to be happy. You are not happy because you choose not to be. It's all how you look at it. I will not live through this life anymore as if I am waiting for a genie to appear and yell "poof" to make my wishes come true. There is only one life to live. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. According to Darren Hayes anyway. He should have been a philosopher. He could have gone places. (Not that I'm saying he hasn't already because I rather enjoy his music and his looks and all of him frankly.) God gives chances but we must see them. We have to realize when they come to us so we can take hold of them and live the life he meant us to live. Most of us do not do that. I didn't used to. But screw the old way of thinking and the old way of living. I have a list of everything I want to do, everything I want to achieve and I will do it. You know why? Because I can.
So....why am I informing you of all this? No reason. The only thing I did today was watch "Monsters, Inc" (very good btw) and I needed to write more than that. But still....it is very rare a person gets the same chance twice. What are you going to choose?
I love realizations. They are the very source of my existance. Well...sort of. Have you ever awakened one day only to find yourself really looking at the world for the first time and finding it nowhere near how you had been seeing it? In one instant you become a completely different person and the rush is more intense than anything imaginable. Nothing bothers you anymore. I used to be upset when people didn't like me, when they refused to acknowledge my presence as a human being existing in this mass expansion of matter we call a world. Like everyone else, I got very upset when teased or ridiculed. (which in my case was often). Yes...one day I woke up and realize this world is down the loo....never to return. It has been kidnapped by the dark one himself. Except for a close few, no one is going to be there for me. Many will try to take advantage of me, many will try to hurt me, and so on and so on. The old me would be troubled by this. The new me doesn't care. I have my friends and they mean everything to me. It is your choice to be happy. You are not happy because you choose not to be. It's all how you look at it. I will not live through this life anymore as if I am waiting for a genie to appear and yell "poof" to make my wishes come true. There is only one life to live. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. According to Darren Hayes anyway. He should have been a philosopher. He could have gone places. (Not that I'm saying he hasn't already because I rather enjoy his music and his looks and all of him frankly.) God gives chances but we must see them. We have to realize when they come to us so we can take hold of them and live the life he meant us to live. Most of us do not do that. I didn't used to. But screw the old way of thinking and the old way of living. I have a list of everything I want to do, everything I want to achieve and I will do it. You know why? Because I can.
So....why am I informing you of all this? No reason. The only thing I did today was watch "Monsters, Inc" (very good btw) and I needed to write more than that. But still....it is very rare a person gets the same chance twice. What are you going to choose?
Freitag, September 20, 2002
Editor's note: All blogs can rot and burn in Hell for eternity for their desire to erase long posts without warning. With that said...let us move on....
"Crossroads" is a dull movie. Watching it is like digesting stale potato chips with mold forming on the edges. It is mundane, pointless, and just wrong all together. It is in dire need of humor (and a plot) so here is my list of what I would have done differently (that is, if I couldn't change the whole plot alltogether)
1.) A reason needed to be given as to why none of them are friends anymore, not that anyone really cares. Preferably something like Mimi liked a guy who liked Lucy. Mimi threw a ketchup packet down in the cafeteria. Lucy stepped on it, causing the ketchup packet to explode, sending her careening down the aisle like a teenager who's just gotten a permit. Something to that effect.
2.) If Lucy was such a rejected reject, she needed to look like one. Complete with facial hair, cat glasses, nappy hair, etc. Her lab partner needed no extra work seeing as how he was all of those.
3.) The whole "Can I hear the list again?" was...how do I put it...gay? Yes, that shall work. Just as they were beginning to fog up the windows, the Trojan Man from the condom commercial should have burst through the window giving them a lesson in sex-ed, scaring them to the point of not disgusting everyone by doing each other.
4.) Ben needed to look like he could have murdered someone. Point said...he needed to come complete with green mohawk hair, nose ring, tattoos over 95% of his body, etc.
5.) In the karaoke contest, Lucy should have been even more scared than Mimi. After all she is the rejected reject. Ben should have shown his sensitive side by getting up there, green mohawk hair and all, and serenading us with a little "I Will Always Love You"....slightly off key.
6.) Lucy should have bashed her mother over the head with the picture frame when she was told she was a mistake. Then she should have tied her up inside the piano never to be found again.
7.) During the scene when Lucy decides she would rather do Ben than the lab partner....I have two words.....trojan....man...
8.) Add onto the ending. Have them dig up the box again when they are in their 70's. Lucy makes the statement of "Oh! My back!" during which point Mimi decides to relieve her of her pain by hitting her in the back of the knees with her shovel and making her fall into the hole. Mimi and Kit proceed to cover Lucy over with dirt.
9.) I find Pink an atrocious color. I know some people who like it and that is fine for them....but for me....I hate Pink. Lucy wore so much pink you could have changed the title to "Pinkroads" and been driving in a pink pinto or something to that effect. That being said reminds me....the car....definately should have been a pinto. Definately. I give this film..........no love. What is the point of me rambling on about my hatred of this movie? The point is.....there is no point. If you feel otherwise then keep it to yourself and tell no one. Your opinion matters like the 3 year old moldy chip dip that goes with the 3 year old stale moldy potato chips. Moving on now...
I'm not a racist. I'm really not. I hate everyone equally. But it's not like it's not warranted. They always give me a reason to hate them. I'm not a bitter person. Really I'm not. There is nothing here for me. I must escape. I must break free from this twisted mass insanity.....this....reality. There is nothing but rules and regulations, lines that must be followed and paths that must be taken. In dreams...this is not so. I shall go there. You can visit me. Just look for the Charter building nearest you and find the little white room with the padded walls. You think it is a bad thing....to me........it is wonderful.
~~~"Go big girl whatchu gon' do?"
"Crossroads" is a dull movie. Watching it is like digesting stale potato chips with mold forming on the edges. It is mundane, pointless, and just wrong all together. It is in dire need of humor (and a plot) so here is my list of what I would have done differently (that is, if I couldn't change the whole plot alltogether)
1.) A reason needed to be given as to why none of them are friends anymore, not that anyone really cares. Preferably something like Mimi liked a guy who liked Lucy. Mimi threw a ketchup packet down in the cafeteria. Lucy stepped on it, causing the ketchup packet to explode, sending her careening down the aisle like a teenager who's just gotten a permit. Something to that effect.
2.) If Lucy was such a rejected reject, she needed to look like one. Complete with facial hair, cat glasses, nappy hair, etc. Her lab partner needed no extra work seeing as how he was all of those.
3.) The whole "Can I hear the list again?" was...how do I put it...gay? Yes, that shall work. Just as they were beginning to fog up the windows, the Trojan Man from the condom commercial should have burst through the window giving them a lesson in sex-ed, scaring them to the point of not disgusting everyone by doing each other.
4.) Ben needed to look like he could have murdered someone. Point said...he needed to come complete with green mohawk hair, nose ring, tattoos over 95% of his body, etc.
5.) In the karaoke contest, Lucy should have been even more scared than Mimi. After all she is the rejected reject. Ben should have shown his sensitive side by getting up there, green mohawk hair and all, and serenading us with a little "I Will Always Love You"....slightly off key.
6.) Lucy should have bashed her mother over the head with the picture frame when she was told she was a mistake. Then she should have tied her up inside the piano never to be found again.
7.) During the scene when Lucy decides she would rather do Ben than the lab partner....I have two words.....trojan....man...
8.) Add onto the ending. Have them dig up the box again when they are in their 70's. Lucy makes the statement of "Oh! My back!" during which point Mimi decides to relieve her of her pain by hitting her in the back of the knees with her shovel and making her fall into the hole. Mimi and Kit proceed to cover Lucy over with dirt.
9.) I find Pink an atrocious color. I know some people who like it and that is fine for them....but for me....I hate Pink. Lucy wore so much pink you could have changed the title to "Pinkroads" and been driving in a pink pinto or something to that effect. That being said reminds me....the car....definately should have been a pinto. Definately. I give this film..........no love. What is the point of me rambling on about my hatred of this movie? The point is.....there is no point. If you feel otherwise then keep it to yourself and tell no one. Your opinion matters like the 3 year old moldy chip dip that goes with the 3 year old stale moldy potato chips. Moving on now...
I'm not a racist. I'm really not. I hate everyone equally. But it's not like it's not warranted. They always give me a reason to hate them. I'm not a bitter person. Really I'm not. There is nothing here for me. I must escape. I must break free from this twisted mass insanity.....this....reality. There is nothing but rules and regulations, lines that must be followed and paths that must be taken. In dreams...this is not so. I shall go there. You can visit me. Just look for the Charter building nearest you and find the little white room with the padded walls. You think it is a bad thing....to me........it is wonderful.
~~~"Go big girl whatchu gon' do?"
Mittwoch, September 18, 2002
Your lovely postest with the mostest has returned to fulfill all your boredom needs with.....what else....more boredom. I shall have to catch you up on 3 days worth of things in one day, so therefore I will list the days and go down them for your simple-minded pleasure.
September 15: Stayed up all night.....again. Can't....function.....much.....longer......I was honestly afraid I wouldn't get up, and missing modeling class would just be the same as blowing up a hydrogen bomb in my backyard. It would be too catastrophic to handle. So point being....I got no sleep and went to Greenville a walking zombie. I did wake up however when I noticed the hot guys in my class. All 3 of them.....but still.....3. mmmm...::drool:: I mostly hung out with one guy named David. He's in dire need of Ritalin, but still extremely hot enough to faint over nonetheless, which is probably why he's a model. ANYWAY...I had to stand up in 3 inch heels most of the day. Thought I was going to die. Worked on poses and walking and all that crap. Said words in a retarded voice for 30 minutes to David's extreme amusement. He's quite a funny character. I mean that in both a humorous and odd way. Couldn't make it home. Got lost about 15 times and stayed in a hotel overnight even though I was only 2 counties away from home. About 30 minutes away for those of you who have no sense of time or direction.
September 16: Woke up about 2:30 A.M. and couldn't go back to sleep. Amused myself by watching cartoons the rest of the night and commenting to myself about how gay they all were. Left about 6:00 A.M. and came home in a very bad mood. Suddenly walking more upright than ever. The impossible has been achieved. Fell asleep again, all night this time.
Today: My Son's birthday. Ah, such a wonderful time. Too bad his Daddy has head trauma in Germany and couldn't see him. ::sigh:: But there's always next year right? At least he did wish him a Happy Birthday and he did indeed have one. I'm proud of him :) Saw my own dad for a while today. Commented on how stupid the news crew was. They had this big sign up giving a description of a car that had chrome RIMS and instead, for all to witness their stupity...it said "Chrome Windows". Who in the heck has chrome windows? How difficult a mistake is that to catch? Rims.....windows....how hard is it? May I once again say I do not like being asked to do things I do not like to do. I do not personally enjoy walking myself into a school that I have hated all my life and be forced to reminisce on the pure HELL of it. I also do not like being asked to call my father for favors. He is not the supreme ruler of the universe and if you are stupid enough to run from the police then you SHOULD be thrown in jail.....screw your opinion, it does not matter after that point. Even I know this, but still they try. Well.....did you enjoy this? I didn't think you did. I must say out of all my posts, this one has to be the most consistently boring and pointless. I need a hobby.
September 15: Stayed up all night.....again. Can't....function.....much.....longer......I was honestly afraid I wouldn't get up, and missing modeling class would just be the same as blowing up a hydrogen bomb in my backyard. It would be too catastrophic to handle. So point being....I got no sleep and went to Greenville a walking zombie. I did wake up however when I noticed the hot guys in my class. All 3 of them.....but still.....3. mmmm...::drool:: I mostly hung out with one guy named David. He's in dire need of Ritalin, but still extremely hot enough to faint over nonetheless, which is probably why he's a model. ANYWAY...I had to stand up in 3 inch heels most of the day. Thought I was going to die. Worked on poses and walking and all that crap. Said words in a retarded voice for 30 minutes to David's extreme amusement. He's quite a funny character. I mean that in both a humorous and odd way. Couldn't make it home. Got lost about 15 times and stayed in a hotel overnight even though I was only 2 counties away from home. About 30 minutes away for those of you who have no sense of time or direction.
September 16: Woke up about 2:30 A.M. and couldn't go back to sleep. Amused myself by watching cartoons the rest of the night and commenting to myself about how gay they all were. Left about 6:00 A.M. and came home in a very bad mood. Suddenly walking more upright than ever. The impossible has been achieved. Fell asleep again, all night this time.
Today: My Son's birthday. Ah, such a wonderful time. Too bad his Daddy has head trauma in Germany and couldn't see him. ::sigh:: But there's always next year right? At least he did wish him a Happy Birthday and he did indeed have one. I'm proud of him :) Saw my own dad for a while today. Commented on how stupid the news crew was. They had this big sign up giving a description of a car that had chrome RIMS and instead, for all to witness their stupity...it said "Chrome Windows". Who in the heck has chrome windows? How difficult a mistake is that to catch? Rims.....windows....how hard is it? May I once again say I do not like being asked to do things I do not like to do. I do not personally enjoy walking myself into a school that I have hated all my life and be forced to reminisce on the pure HELL of it. I also do not like being asked to call my father for favors. He is not the supreme ruler of the universe and if you are stupid enough to run from the police then you SHOULD be thrown in jail.....screw your opinion, it does not matter after that point. Even I know this, but still they try. Well.....did you enjoy this? I didn't think you did. I must say out of all my posts, this one has to be the most consistently boring and pointless. I need a hobby.
Samstag, September 14, 2002
HEY HEATHER IT'S PAM! HAHAHAHHAHA....ok sorry...i had to..
As all of you smart people (I say that with the utmost of sarcasm) have probably figured out by now, that writing up there is by my friend and cohort Pam. She is the Viceroy of the nocturnal realm in case I somehow get lost on the way to the bathroom and disappear never to return again. After all.....SOMEONE has to run the night. Of course we stayed up all night again (no sleeping on the job) and proceeded to try our best to figure out the German language. Some of it has been figured out, some still remains a mystery. But we have reached a conclusion. Screw that. Who cares why you're saying it? Just listen to German music and read the translations until it clicks in your head. That is why, tontos, I am the Brain, and you are not. MUAHAHAAHAHAHAHA. Sorry...triumph moment.
Don't you hate being awakened by your parental figure trying to show you something? It's the most annoying thing that could ever possibly happen besides getting your nose stuck in a tissue dispenser because you were too lazy to pull one out. When I wake up in the morning, I feel as if I have done my part. After that, just leave me alone and let me wake up for crying out loud or I'll bite your freakin' head off. She's known me for 18 years....18 years I've been that way.....DOES NOTHING CLICK ANYMORE? Maybe there's a blown fuse somewhere....hmm....Note to self: Check for blown fuses in light switch.
May I just make the statement that my mother is 50 years old. She does not look 50, but is 50 nonetheless. Her 37 year old friend got the idea in her head that she should live a little. So we kidnapped my mother. Yes...kidnapped I say. This is how the list of places we were going progressed over the evening:
8:05 Go to Christian singles group and mingle.
8:37 Go to club where there is no smoking allowed and no alcohol served.
8:42 Decided to look like major idiot on radio by telling extremely sexy radio DJ we were going to "look at men's noses" (that is a major inside joke. Do not ask. I repeat: DO NOT ASK)
8:43 Found out club was for teenies. Moved on.
9:01 Begin search for club without alcohol.
10:17 Begin search for club without smoke, alcohol allowed.
10:51 Begin search for open club.....who cares what kind
11:03 Find club with she-males. Comment on cardboard shadow cutouts of women with sagging boobs and mention how they need a miracle bra to anyone within a 5 mile radius.
11:47 Return to the Big G.
11:49 I hide in the backseat while Mother's friend tries to ask policeman friend of mine if he knows where we can party. Finally stood up in the backseat and pretended to be in a drunken stupor. Enjoyed it.
11:51 Pull up at a bar. Yell in redneck accents about how they were missing out on good women like us. Mother chose to hide while turning weird shades of purple. Could not understand why.
12:07 Enter yard. Immediately leave yard again to go to Taco Bell.
1:32 Write post for your reading enjoyment. I have to be up very very soon to get ready for modeling class so if you don't like what I wrote here....I don't care. This is good sleep I'm wasting. Between the three of us, we did manage to talk about one thing and one thing only the whole time. I would tell you, but alas this post must remain R-rated. Haha. I will give you a hint though.....neun. There....I see the gerbil spinning! woah look at him go!!
As all of you smart people (I say that with the utmost of sarcasm) have probably figured out by now, that writing up there is by my friend and cohort Pam. She is the Viceroy of the nocturnal realm in case I somehow get lost on the way to the bathroom and disappear never to return again. After all.....SOMEONE has to run the night. Of course we stayed up all night again (no sleeping on the job) and proceeded to try our best to figure out the German language. Some of it has been figured out, some still remains a mystery. But we have reached a conclusion. Screw that. Who cares why you're saying it? Just listen to German music and read the translations until it clicks in your head. That is why, tontos, I am the Brain, and you are not. MUAHAHAAHAHAHAHA. Sorry...triumph moment.
Don't you hate being awakened by your parental figure trying to show you something? It's the most annoying thing that could ever possibly happen besides getting your nose stuck in a tissue dispenser because you were too lazy to pull one out. When I wake up in the morning, I feel as if I have done my part. After that, just leave me alone and let me wake up for crying out loud or I'll bite your freakin' head off. She's known me for 18 years....18 years I've been that way.....DOES NOTHING CLICK ANYMORE? Maybe there's a blown fuse somewhere....hmm....Note to self: Check for blown fuses in light switch.
May I just make the statement that my mother is 50 years old. She does not look 50, but is 50 nonetheless. Her 37 year old friend got the idea in her head that she should live a little. So we kidnapped my mother. Yes...kidnapped I say. This is how the list of places we were going progressed over the evening:
8:05 Go to Christian singles group and mingle.
8:37 Go to club where there is no smoking allowed and no alcohol served.
8:42 Decided to look like major idiot on radio by telling extremely sexy radio DJ we were going to "look at men's noses" (that is a major inside joke. Do not ask. I repeat: DO NOT ASK)
8:43 Found out club was for teenies. Moved on.
9:01 Begin search for club without alcohol.
10:17 Begin search for club without smoke, alcohol allowed.
10:51 Begin search for open club.....who cares what kind
11:03 Find club with she-males. Comment on cardboard shadow cutouts of women with sagging boobs and mention how they need a miracle bra to anyone within a 5 mile radius.
11:47 Return to the Big G.
11:49 I hide in the backseat while Mother's friend tries to ask policeman friend of mine if he knows where we can party. Finally stood up in the backseat and pretended to be in a drunken stupor. Enjoyed it.
11:51 Pull up at a bar. Yell in redneck accents about how they were missing out on good women like us. Mother chose to hide while turning weird shades of purple. Could not understand why.
12:07 Enter yard. Immediately leave yard again to go to Taco Bell.
1:32 Write post for your reading enjoyment. I have to be up very very soon to get ready for modeling class so if you don't like what I wrote here....I don't care. This is good sleep I'm wasting. Between the three of us, we did manage to talk about one thing and one thing only the whole time. I would tell you, but alas this post must remain R-rated. Haha. I will give you a hint though.....neun. There....I see the gerbil spinning! woah look at him go!!
Pam, "Emma", and I are the supreme dictators of the nocturnal realm. (Dear Abby, I have this friend, "Emma", and she has an obsession with ducks. Should I tell her she is different, or just accept her as she is? KIDDING!) I mainly talked with Paul, Christoph, Pam, and Emma. Paul and Christoph retired the earliest because the extremity of their issues was too great to ignore. Much like me, but I ignore the voices and continue on my journey. Around 5:30 A.M. I became obsessed with the word "cheez poofies". I began to repeat it countless times, each time laughing more and more like a hyena on a mixture of Morphine and laughing gas. (Or Till's gas minus the nauseating odor.) Even still, the word cheez poofies is hilarious. 18 hours later I still find it funny.
I went to piano today and got to meet the relative no one likes. Lucky me. Of course I was added to her big gigantic list of people she doesn't like when I tried to be nice to her and she wanted to be mean back. That gave me enough reason in my twisted mind to throw all sense of niceness out the window and I proceeded to be the queen of evil to her. Then she decided she wanted to be my friend. Too late....I was already on a roll. While in my mean streak I got to looking around seeing if she had stolen anything when I came upon a baby Jesus on top of my great-grandmother's television. I thought there was something odd about it, but couldn't place what it was until I noticed its mouth. The corners sloped downward into a point so it looked like he had fangs. Since when did Jesus become Wiccan and vant to suck your blood? For crying out loud HE'S PERFECT! MAKE HIM LOOK PERFECT!
I hate liars. Absolutely cannot stand them. Especially liars who swear they're right. Shouldn't they have been run over by something by now? ::sigh:: I'm really not an evil person. Really. I recently read a post by a girl who claims she "did the nasty German stylie" with Christoph. That opening comment right there should let you know she is about 8 and is as clueless as the drummer on Josie and the Pussycats. (I would put the name but I can't remember if she's Mel or Val. Who even cares you know what I'm trying to say.) Anyway, she went into very intimate details about their night together and they were obviously all false for reasons I cannot disclose. I told Christoph about it....he did not find it as funny as I did.
I downloaded Kraftwerk's version of "Das Modell". I thought that since they hated Rammstein's version, theirs must be out of this world or something. I was right. It was so bad they sent it to another planet to die a painful, lonely death. They hated Rammstein's version because they are jealous. JEALOUS I SAY! Eifersucht runs rampant in their veins. If you do not believe me, download the song. I rest my case.
On a final note, my friend Lori is the queen of sarcasm. My goal in life is to be just like her, but alas, I am still a Patowan compared to her greatness. Even though she refuses to believe it, her blog is much better than mine. Agree with me.....go to www.hippityhoppity.blogspot.com
~~~"I want it fast enough for me to do something stupid in"
I went to piano today and got to meet the relative no one likes. Lucky me. Of course I was added to her big gigantic list of people she doesn't like when I tried to be nice to her and she wanted to be mean back. That gave me enough reason in my twisted mind to throw all sense of niceness out the window and I proceeded to be the queen of evil to her. Then she decided she wanted to be my friend. Too late....I was already on a roll. While in my mean streak I got to looking around seeing if she had stolen anything when I came upon a baby Jesus on top of my great-grandmother's television. I thought there was something odd about it, but couldn't place what it was until I noticed its mouth. The corners sloped downward into a point so it looked like he had fangs. Since when did Jesus become Wiccan and vant to suck your blood? For crying out loud HE'S PERFECT! MAKE HIM LOOK PERFECT!
I hate liars. Absolutely cannot stand them. Especially liars who swear they're right. Shouldn't they have been run over by something by now? ::sigh:: I'm really not an evil person. Really. I recently read a post by a girl who claims she "did the nasty German stylie" with Christoph. That opening comment right there should let you know she is about 8 and is as clueless as the drummer on Josie and the Pussycats. (I would put the name but I can't remember if she's Mel or Val. Who even cares you know what I'm trying to say.) Anyway, she went into very intimate details about their night together and they were obviously all false for reasons I cannot disclose. I told Christoph about it....he did not find it as funny as I did.
I downloaded Kraftwerk's version of "Das Modell". I thought that since they hated Rammstein's version, theirs must be out of this world or something. I was right. It was so bad they sent it to another planet to die a painful, lonely death. They hated Rammstein's version because they are jealous. JEALOUS I SAY! Eifersucht runs rampant in their veins. If you do not believe me, download the song. I rest my case.
On a final note, my friend Lori is the queen of sarcasm. My goal in life is to be just like her, but alas, I am still a Patowan compared to her greatness. Even though she refuses to believe it, her blog is much better than mine. Agree with me.....go to www.hippityhoppity.blogspot.com
~~~"I want it fast enough for me to do something stupid in"
Freitag, September 13, 2002
Another day and what to say? I slept for most of it because Pam and I are nocturnal and we just simply cannot help it. I apparently have issues with myself around 3-6 A.M. and talk about things and say things I would not otherwise normally say. But nobody knows what to expect from me and woe to the one who has not been forewarned. Been awake for about 4 or 5 hours now and I'm ready to go back to bed. I have issues beyond my knowledge apparently. Christoph is doing better, but still thinks the purple fairies and blue bunnies are after him. He now has an attraction to Morphine. Thank you for your prayers. I talked with him today while Richard went on unaware that he was calling me long distance from his phone. Khira told on him so he shoved the phone down his pants and dared Richard to go get it. I'm starting to wonder if Germans are from Mars, everyone else is from Earth. Addison just told me he has his own website. GO TO IT! NOW!!!!!!! http://people.clemson.edu/~ahamric
On another note, "Ich Will" is a very good song. Actually every Rammstein song is a very good song. I think they must put hidden messages in their music...I've never liked German before now. Who knew I had it in me? I tried listening to other German bands and found them quite horrible. I have come to the conclusion I am obsessed. Wow, that sucks. I am now a teeny. God, save me.
I have the interesting problem of missing people. Not missing them as in wishing they were here, but missing them as in, well, missing them. People call me and don't get me. I call them back and don't get them. I go to see them and they're not there because they've gone to see me. I go back home to see them and they've gone back home to see me. It's a big never ending cycle. But on the subject of missing people, I miss Christoph. I miss all the guys actually. Even ::gasp:: Flake! I never thought I would hear myself say it. It is official: I have lost my mind.
Came to a conclusion earlier in the day. Screw college for now. I must live life and then go to my normal 9-5 desk job as a profiler in the FBI. While quite a hella cool job, still the last thing on the list. I will definately go to college in the future. I would rather die than ask someone everyday,"Would you like to supersize that for only 32 cents more?" for the rest of my life.
~~~"Eezn't one of zee tellehtohbeez geh?" "I zink eetz zee red one.....TEENKY VEENKY!!"
On another note, "Ich Will" is a very good song. Actually every Rammstein song is a very good song. I think they must put hidden messages in their music...I've never liked German before now. Who knew I had it in me? I tried listening to other German bands and found them quite horrible. I have come to the conclusion I am obsessed. Wow, that sucks. I am now a teeny. God, save me.
I have the interesting problem of missing people. Not missing them as in wishing they were here, but missing them as in, well, missing them. People call me and don't get me. I call them back and don't get them. I go to see them and they're not there because they've gone to see me. I go back home to see them and they've gone back home to see me. It's a big never ending cycle. But on the subject of missing people, I miss Christoph. I miss all the guys actually. Even ::gasp:: Flake! I never thought I would hear myself say it. It is official: I have lost my mind.
Came to a conclusion earlier in the day. Screw college for now. I must live life and then go to my normal 9-5 desk job as a profiler in the FBI. While quite a hella cool job, still the last thing on the list. I will definately go to college in the future. I would rather die than ask someone everyday,"Would you like to supersize that for only 32 cents more?" for the rest of my life.
~~~"Eezn't one of zee tellehtohbeez geh?" "I zink eetz zee red one.....TEENKY VEENKY!!"
Donnerstag, September 12, 2002
Yes yes......ANOTHER post. I forgot to say one thing. So here it is. Christoph ist der reizvollste Sache Gott hat gebildet. Ich dachte, dass Sie gl�cklich machen w�rde, Schneider. Ich denke, dass ich diese ganze Sache auf deutsch tun werde. Warum? Weil ich kann. Ich soll mit Rammstein am VMA'S in drei Tagen ausf�hren, aber ich kann nicht, weil meine erste Modellieren-Klasse am n�chsten Tag ist. Jetzt lutscht DAS. There. I feel better now. How frustrated did you get trying to read that? Not too much I hope. Sorry for making the little gerbil on the wheel inside your heads work too hard.
I almost had my own 9/11 today. When I woke up this morning, I had just had a dream that felt so real it was too real too ignore. In the dream, my friend Richard had called me and told me that Christoph was dead. He'd been killed when a semi hit their limo and threw him through the window. The limo rolled on top of him and the car exploded. Of course when I told him about it, he thought I had been hit in the head with a baseball bat one too many times. It almost happened today, but because he realized it was just like I was telling him, he kept yelling at the driver to move out of the way, and it did so when the semi did come, it just fish-tailed the car instead of hitting it straight on. It still threw Christoph against the window and busted the window out. He has a gash on the back of his head and lost quite a bit of blood. Your prayers will be greatly appreciated.
On a lighter note...my friend "Emma" and I have come to a conclusion. That looks like that beginning to a "Dear Abby" column. Oh well.....back to the conclusion. We are going to start a condom company called Rubber Dickies. She says she wants all the hot guys we know to model them. I was unaware condom models existed? I'm also listening to "Zwitter" by Rammstein. May I ask why you would write a song about how it would be better if you were a hermaphrodite? I'll never understand men. I don't think I'll ever want to either. Well.....that's all for today. Tomorrow is another day.
On a lighter note...my friend "Emma" and I have come to a conclusion. That looks like that beginning to a "Dear Abby" column. Oh well.....back to the conclusion. We are going to start a condom company called Rubber Dickies. She says she wants all the hot guys we know to model them. I was unaware condom models existed? I'm also listening to "Zwitter" by Rammstein. May I ask why you would write a song about how it would be better if you were a hermaphrodite? I'll never understand men. I don't think I'll ever want to either. Well.....that's all for today. Tomorrow is another day.
September 8, 2002
Tried out for Barbizon today. I always thought I would get it because I deserved it. Actually it was also because I had to. Something inside of me would just die if I didn't. Ok, actually it wouldn't....but you get the picture by now. I REALLY wanted it. So I went up there. Found the place pretty easily after I got lost. Losing yourself does have its advantages. Ended up being model number 132. I felt like some car piece. Model number 132. Hmph. Anyway.....I sat there and listened to this woman talk for about an hour. It was so cold my lips were blue and my veins were sticking out. I looked like death in the refridgerator. I went up there and received what everyone else had received. A half-hearted woo. However, once I started walking everyone stood up and started screaming and clapping. Of course I felt like Cindy Crawford after this and planned to strut so. When I got done, my judge ran up to me and hugged me. He kept talking about how wonderful I did and kept saying "Wow" for the first 5 minutes. He asked me some questions and I really impressed him. If I get into the agency, I'll get a callback tomorrow. I'd better. That's all I have to say.
Tried out for Barbizon today. I always thought I would get it because I deserved it. Actually it was also because I had to. Something inside of me would just die if I didn't. Ok, actually it wouldn't....but you get the picture by now. I REALLY wanted it. So I went up there. Found the place pretty easily after I got lost. Losing yourself does have its advantages. Ended up being model number 132. I felt like some car piece. Model number 132. Hmph. Anyway.....I sat there and listened to this woman talk for about an hour. It was so cold my lips were blue and my veins were sticking out. I looked like death in the refridgerator. I went up there and received what everyone else had received. A half-hearted woo. However, once I started walking everyone stood up and started screaming and clapping. Of course I felt like Cindy Crawford after this and planned to strut so. When I got done, my judge ran up to me and hugged me. He kept talking about how wonderful I did and kept saying "Wow" for the first 5 minutes. He asked me some questions and I really impressed him. If I get into the agency, I'll get a callback tomorrow. I'd better. That's all I have to say.
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