Yes Pam.....leave it to Till to leave you so hopeful lol. But it's a true quote, though. Whether it be through death or what...it eventually dies. :: sigh::

Well, tonight I finished my Dracula song. (Yes, it has a name, but I'm not writing it for the sake of the copyright.) It's the most awesome song in the history of time. But of course once you write a song about Dracula, you run the risk of being called things like "Spawn of Satan" "Evil one" and many other things...all of which I was called tonight. :) Ha. They should hear my song about Hitler...then they'll really think I'm a spawn of the devil. My Mom showed Tim an old picture of me and he said,"aww I know that Heather. She was so sweet." and I said,"Yeah...who knew in 3 years she'd write songs about Hitler and Dracula. :D" anddd I got a kiss. Tee hee. Gary added another guitar part...he is so coming on tour with me. That way I only have to pay him in backrubs. And Brian...well...I'll just let him get a lot of exposure so he'll be so starstruck I won't have to pay him either. :)

Ahhh it's so good to be back in the studio. Just walking down the hallway, my bad mood lifted and I felt at home. I was met by Brian who gave me a hug and said he missed me and was glad to be working with me again. Then Gary came and said,"I want you to know, I've been listening to Rammstein all day to try and get the feel of this song! :D" poor guy....lol but I love him. Then Keyter came in...and that's when I realized how right everything felt. He grinned really big and wrapped his arms around me and said,"It's SO good to be back working with you! You are so awesome....you have some serious creative genius." I don't blush often, but I did then...because Keyter is the most awesome musician in the history of time. He said I was his favorite person to work for :). aww I love you too Keyt. Of course it wouldn't have been a complete studio session if we didn't cut up most of the time. Keyter and I are both the same amount of Cherokee Indian, so we always change the lyrics to things like,"You stole our land white man." while Tim and I make up separate lyrics about crack. It wastes time, but it's fun. The song will be finished tomorrow....then it can be used for the soundtrack. Muwahahaha. More on the studio time tomorrow, but for now, I shall leave you with a quote from Till.

~~~"Love is like a flower, even the most beautiful kind dies."


So true. So true.

I'm glad I have at least one good friend in the world. a.k.a. Pam. (or Pinky, depending on the moment.) She is the only person who actually acknowledged that this tragedy even happened, and didn't immediately switch to what movies she saw recently. So thank you Pam. And yes, things will look up for me. This soundtrack deal has my name written all over it.

Thanksgiving sucked...and it's ruined for the rest of my life. My uncle called this morning and said that my aunt's best friend (Who I was also close to) was murdered and they found her and her husband's body yesterday, but he only found out this morning. I don't even want to celebrate this stupid holiday anymore. That's all.

I figured it's about time I post. I've been meaning to for a while, but haven't gotten around to it. (When exciting things are happening like the entire police dept. chasing down a car with a refridgerator strapped to the trunk I just don't have the time to write.) Hopefully soon I shall leave this god-forsaken town to go to Berlin. Where my true home is. But only time will tell.

I think it's funny how people get the wrong ideas. There are people I know that apparently think they know who they're talking to. They don't use names, but they give out subtle hints. I, for one, am not so subtle. Ashely, it's not sacred. It's stupid. Get over it. Dankesch�n. Tsch��.

I'm also sick of people who whine about things as if they could be changed. They let themselves be run over. Why? What is the joy in getting your face smacked in the pavement over and over again? Why can you not stand up for yourself and just say what needs to be said? It's beyond me. I've also decided to write a song about Hitler, it will be on the same album as my song about Dracula. Muahahaha. Pam, hopefully I shall be able to come visit before I leave Hell.

If you're going to say "y'all", please spell it correctly. And furthermore.....it's soda....not pop. I'm starting a poll. Everyone who says pop....tell me where you're from. I'm going to prove to you Pam that this is a northern thing. lol

I sat in the graveyard for Halloween. It's ironic that I find such peace there. With all the crazy things going on outside, the lights and sirens going off...I just sat with the dead and looked at the sky.

To all the stupid people out there: "Ich bin dein Negativ....und ich komme f�r Sie."

Yet another quote....

"She looks like she did the 100 yd. dash in a 90 yd. gym. :: insert head smack motion and pained grunt::"

We hit a deer last night while looking for a car that had a gigantic fridge strapped to the back of it. Poor deer :( Oh well, it'll take 2 asprin and feel better in the morning.

Jamie stopped me last night. "Excuse me....I wasn't going 48." "Yes you were." "No way." "Yes way!" "Loser!" "So?!....wait....." haha, I love him.

When people are trying to contain laughter...have you ever noticed how they look constipated? I have found my stress relief in screaming at stupid people 3 ways to Sunday. I guess some people find my comments rather amusing. Woo hoo.

On a final note....I have never been so turned on by cologne in my life. I have sunken to a new low.

Hey Pam, I have a new quote you can use for the people you despise most. You can thank Jamie for it later.

"She looks like she's been hit with a 100 lb. bag of 'What the hell?'"

People often wonder why I surround myself with men. The answer: I hate girls/women. Their stupidity annoys me. Granted I may be one of them, but it doesn't mean I act like them. I got stuck behind 4 dumb blonde crackheads tonight. They squealed excessively, for one thing. For another thing, one girl had just gotten on the Real World and was delirious. She kept yelling,"Want me to sign something for you? I'M GONNA BE FAMOUS!" "DO YOU REALIZE A FAMOUS PERSON IS HOLDING YOUR PEN???" ''OMG I'M LIKE SO FAMOUS!!!!!!!!" ...right.... just gag me with a fork.

Sometimes I wonder if the world is ready for me.
Then I realize....it isn't. Oops.

I tried to put in a cartoon I found, but it won't let me because it's stupid. I'll have to ask Pam how since she's the queen of this. Hmmm...

On another note: I've finished most of the studio work. I have some video ideas now. Alles in ordnung. muahaha.

First I'll start of by posting something I realized while driving the other day. You know you live in a redneck town when you see someone outside spraypainting their lawn green because it wasn't "the right color". Yeah.....moving on....

I indent, but yet when I publish the post, it goes away. Makes me irritable indeed. So what was I going to say....oh yes. More of life's rantings. I am now pitting the Army and the Air Force against each other. Whoever offers me the better deal, I will go with. :: sigh:: Being a genius is hard work sometimes. But fun, nonetheless. I must congratulate my mother's friend. She has made me so mad I was actually shaking with anger. It's a new record for me. I wanted to kill her with my bare hands and laugh like an insane maniac while doing it. She had the nerve to say that a certain someone wasn't good enough for me because he was a "dirty old man". Oh no. She doesn't know him. She has no right to judge him. And he isn't even that old. I have made my point. Now if you all will excuse me I have to go retrieve paper from my dog.

As Oli would say,"Pain or sorrow is the best starting point for artistic expression." Such deep words from a man who rarely uses any. (words not artistic expression) The songs are coming along quite beautifully. They reflect the deepest part of my soul that I locked away for a long time because no one cared about it and it had to come out some way. So it did so in song. Once "Timmy" finishes his bass line and Rusty finishes his guitars......it will be nice. Very nice indeed.

It's always interesting to be singing and look over only to see your 60-something year old keyboard player headbanging. In a suit, I might add. But the man is nevertheless a genius. He also kept trying to make me laugh by sticking his lips out and moving back and forth making noises like a lightsaber. However that's not as bad as my drummer...who slammed up against the glass and puffed out his mouth and slid down the glass. But I guess I'll forgive him because he gives excellent backrubs.

We thought about doing an indian song since my keyboarder and I are both indian. Tim and the drummer decided they wanted to do backup, so they started doing the indian chants along with him, except extremely out of key. I wish I could have tape-recorded that to use for blackmail later.

Weird things are definately happening around here. I'm getting "signs" and "dreams" more often. So something big is about to happen, and I think I know what. But I shall refrain from saying it until I am more certain. Good-bye for now.

Hello everyone. You know what I have decided? I hate Ashely so much, she's getting her own song. It's called "Loser" because she's so scared she's going to die from a rash. And yet.....she thinks people WITH LIVES are losers. And I know she's going to say,"If you got somethin' to say....say it in English." But you know what. It's more fun when you can't understand and pretend you do.

Dear Ashely,
Препятствуйте нам посмотреть определение задержано в развитии. оно кажется ваше изображение около его. Не что сярприз? Вы будете loser не может погулять прогулка.

Wenn Sie nicht m�gen, was ich sage, aufrichtig glaube ich, da� Sie kann lecken mein arse. Ich hoffe, da� bald ich in der LageBIN, Mittel des
�berschusses....ich mienen... in Sie bald laufen zu lassen. Haben Sie einen sch�nen Tag, Verlierer. Ach- ja, dachten Sie �berhaupt, um zu �berpr�fen und zu sehen, ob Sie Krabben haben,diesen Hautausschlag zu begleiten?

I head back into the studio Monday. Ahh stress relief.

Idiot quote of the day: "I'm impotent and proud of it!!!!........wait.....that's not right. IMPORTANT! Yeahhhh that's it!"

I realized today I actually like a certain person....and I never realized I liked them before. Hmm...now I have a paradox on my hands....and a very complicated situation.

Final note: Why must Jamie always open the door, lean out and say,"Peek-a-boo"? ...Crazy man...

First note: I do NOT look like Donna from that 70's show. We have the same nose so everyone automatically assumes we have the same face. No.

Second note: Pam you forgot to mention Rammstein as great artists who write their own stuff. SHAME ON YOU! haha

I have Linda Hamilton arms finally! I'm so proud of myself. Now I actually look like I can kill somebody (instead of just being able to without looking it.) Life is good...even if your step-mother does want to kill you.

Soon, my love. I'll be in Berlin.

I almost forgot...

I am in the best of moods right now. Christian Bale is going to be the new Batman. I'm not happy because I like Batman...frankly I could care less. I just want to see Christian Bale. Mmmness. You know, if his wife ever divorces him I'd be more than happy to be there to pick up the pieces and mend his aching heart. :: innocent smile::

My hero has passed on. Well....sort of hero. Johnny Cash would have understood me...and he might've been the only one. He would have known that wearing black all the time doesn't mean you're a freak. I, for one, prefer the term "Unique". I rhymed....woo...
Everyone is dying it seems. Most of my immediate family is now gone and things are getting stranger and stranger. But, no matter....I like them the way they are. Thanks to that....I know now where I'm supposed to be in life...and believe me....I'll get there. I don't know how and I don't know when...but I will get there.