I have officially dyed my hair as black as possible. Now when my "Shock blue" hair extensions come in, I'll be good to go, muahaha. Me+hair dye=dangerous.

I talked to Wade for 4 hours last night. He wants me to go to Kuwait with him for the Military Entertainment thing, and, you know what, I think I'm gonna go. Sounds like fun....and I have to make sure Wade doesn't embarrass himself. You'd be surprised the things one talks about at 2 a.m.

On another note....


Make the world go away
Get it off my shoulder
Say the things we used to say
And make the world, make it go away

Do you remember when you loved me
Before the world took you away
Well if you do, then forgive me
And make the world, make it go away

Make the world go away
Get it off my shoulder
Say the things we used to say
And make the world, make it go away

Now I�m sorry if I hurt you
Let me make it up to you day by day
And if you will please forgive me
And make the world, make it go away

Make the world go away
Get it off my shoulder
Say the things we used to say
And make the world, make it go away

I want to scream in German. Really loudly. I still feel peaceful in a way, yet intensely angry. I hate people. I'm going to work in the Counterterrorism division of the CIA so I can blow up all the people I hate and get paid for it. I hate everything and everyone right now and I'm all right with that. Screw you all. Have a nice day. :)

Quotes from the past:

"You do not live here therefore your opinion is null and void!"-me

"And she embarrassed me in front of everyone! She said,'Oh, that's just the underwire in your bra.' and I said,'No....THOSE ARE MY LEAD BOOBIES!'"--Gina, talking about being frisked at the airport

"Who dat is?" "Girl das jus' my baby daddy."-Nicole and me

"You...you...frito!"-Pam

"Welcome to the bizarro string world."-Pam also

"She looked like she'd been hit with a 100 lb. bag of 'What the hell?'"-Jamie, although it's much funnier when said.

"She looked like she did the 100 yd. dash in a 90 yd. gym." "...wait I don't get it...." "She hit the wall, stupid!" "....OH OK!"-Jamie and Chad

"The question is...can you handle it?" "....uh...I'm not the one doing the exercising."--Me and Chad. Me obviously intoxicated by Chad's hotness.

"I would never sleep with someone who's already been sleeping with someone else. I might get VIH."-Sergio

"I've just been violated bumper to bumper!"-Nicole

"What it is, dawg?" "I'm a bat, don't call me no names. I'm a BAT. You see that Robin over 'der. He ain't worf' it, nu uh. Don't mess with me. I might only have one finger on my wing but I'll POKE YOU"-Wade

"ha, that was so homosexual."-Jay

"Stop following me so close!.....you ain't queer are you?"-Slinky

"Welcome to Idaho. Wait...who da ho?"-Wade

"Lucretia? Is she related to Lucifer?"-Me

"My name is Shatifah Bonifah Latifah Laquanda Julianne Makinawa"-Wade again

"Hello Mr. Greene, this is Britney Spears and I just wanted to let you know that Wade has won a top secret contest he doesn't even know about." "OMG are you really Britney Spears. You sound like her....are you?" "Yes sir. Can Wade dance or sing?" "....well...not really no."-Me messing with Wade's dad.

"Heather I heard your song on the radio! I told everyone at work,'I know her!'"-Wade's dad mistaking Amy Lee's voice for my own.

"This sucks." "You should tell them." "Yeah your right. ZEES EES WHAT I SINK OF YOU STUPID REDNECK PEOPLE!"-Till and me, right before Till goes to urinate all over the house

"Dover car!"-Brent

"Hey, let's take pictures of all the stupid buildings in this town. First on the list...HILLS AND THRILLS!"-Brent again (but it's heels and frills)

"He said to write him and give dad the letter and he would put it in his box." "Yeah I'll give him something and put him in a box all right."-dad and me.


More to come as I think of them

Random soapbox rant: I hate it when people think I don't know something. I know practically everything. Around the time that it happens. Why? Because I am observant, and I learn from the best. (namely the Father of Profiling's top student David...but...whatever) My point is...don't underestimate me. You're only making yourself look stupid.

Well I am surprised. My letters showed up after all. :: applaudes Blogger for once:: Ahem....now let me get straight to my point.

I love the night. Especially on a full moon. There's just something in the air that makes everything peaceful. I also love things that remind me of what good memories I do have. In case you're wondering what I'm babbling about, I just saw "Return of the King". Besides the fact I stared a lot at Viggo Mortenson's nose and thought,"ew" (long story) so much of it reminded me of the good things in my past. And my future. I walked out into a lonely parking lot and let the wind hit my face and ignored the rest of the world. I am finally free.

Erste, fr�hliche Weihnachten, gl�ckliches neues Jahr und alles, sonst,
das ich vergessen hatte, jeder zu w�nschen. Now part of my German letters are probably going to show up as question marks. That makes me quite angry.

You know you are stressed out when:
1.) You realize you have been wearing liquid concealer as lipstick...for a week and a half.
2.) You are in mid-sentence and have already forgotten not only what you were about to say, but what you have said already.
3.) You take great care to wrap the presents to the right people in coordinated packaging, only to write the wrong names on the labels.
4.) Your "word of the day" is "huh?" or "what?"
5.) You wake up saying,"I just had the greatest dream!....now what was it?"
6.) The thought of "Peace on Earth" makes your stomach churn.
7.) Eating seems to require more energy than you have.
8.) You refer to people by different names or several different names together. (I.e. Billy Joe Bob)
9.) You throw things just to feel better and worry about replacing the holes in the wall later.

and...
Please pity me and send a nice check in my name to help my frayed nerves.

On another note...I had the most unusual urge to grab Jamie's butt the other night. :x. Childish, I know, but the desire remained nonetheless until I actually (insert surprised gasp) reached out to it. But, he moved. Thank goodness.

And finally....I shall leave this god-forsaken town behind me for a month and make my way to Iowa where I shall convince all of Wade's friends that I am a vampire. muwahahaha. mmmm fangs. Oh, by the way Pam.....Wade lives in the north. He says that "pop" is definately a northen thing. Mmkay. Yes I win. Thank you. lol

Yes Pam.....leave it to Till to leave you so hopeful lol. But it's a true quote, though. Whether it be through death or what...it eventually dies. :: sigh::

Well, tonight I finished my Dracula song. (Yes, it has a name, but I'm not writing it for the sake of the copyright.) It's the most awesome song in the history of time. But of course once you write a song about Dracula, you run the risk of being called things like "Spawn of Satan" "Evil one" and many other things...all of which I was called tonight. :) Ha. They should hear my song about Hitler...then they'll really think I'm a spawn of the devil. My Mom showed Tim an old picture of me and he said,"aww I know that Heather. She was so sweet." and I said,"Yeah...who knew in 3 years she'd write songs about Hitler and Dracula. :D" anddd I got a kiss. Tee hee. Gary added another guitar part...he is so coming on tour with me. That way I only have to pay him in backrubs. And Brian...well...I'll just let him get a lot of exposure so he'll be so starstruck I won't have to pay him either. :)

Ahhh it's so good to be back in the studio. Just walking down the hallway, my bad mood lifted and I felt at home. I was met by Brian who gave me a hug and said he missed me and was glad to be working with me again. Then Gary came and said,"I want you to know, I've been listening to Rammstein all day to try and get the feel of this song! :D" poor guy....lol but I love him. Then Keyter came in...and that's when I realized how right everything felt. He grinned really big and wrapped his arms around me and said,"It's SO good to be back working with you! You are so awesome....you have some serious creative genius." I don't blush often, but I did then...because Keyter is the most awesome musician in the history of time. He said I was his favorite person to work for :). aww I love you too Keyt. Of course it wouldn't have been a complete studio session if we didn't cut up most of the time. Keyter and I are both the same amount of Cherokee Indian, so we always change the lyrics to things like,"You stole our land white man." while Tim and I make up separate lyrics about crack. It wastes time, but it's fun. The song will be finished tomorrow....then it can be used for the soundtrack. Muwahahaha. More on the studio time tomorrow, but for now, I shall leave you with a quote from Till.

~~~"Love is like a flower, even the most beautiful kind dies."


So true. So true.

I'm glad I have at least one good friend in the world. a.k.a. Pam. (or Pinky, depending on the moment.) She is the only person who actually acknowledged that this tragedy even happened, and didn't immediately switch to what movies she saw recently. So thank you Pam. And yes, things will look up for me. This soundtrack deal has my name written all over it.

Thanksgiving sucked...and it's ruined for the rest of my life. My uncle called this morning and said that my aunt's best friend (Who I was also close to) was murdered and they found her and her husband's body yesterday, but he only found out this morning. I don't even want to celebrate this stupid holiday anymore. That's all.

I figured it's about time I post. I've been meaning to for a while, but haven't gotten around to it. (When exciting things are happening like the entire police dept. chasing down a car with a refridgerator strapped to the trunk I just don't have the time to write.) Hopefully soon I shall leave this god-forsaken town to go to Berlin. Where my true home is. But only time will tell.

I think it's funny how people get the wrong ideas. There are people I know that apparently think they know who they're talking to. They don't use names, but they give out subtle hints. I, for one, am not so subtle. Ashely, it's not sacred. It's stupid. Get over it. Dankesch�n. Tsch��.

I'm also sick of people who whine about things as if they could be changed. They let themselves be run over. Why? What is the joy in getting your face smacked in the pavement over and over again? Why can you not stand up for yourself and just say what needs to be said? It's beyond me. I've also decided to write a song about Hitler, it will be on the same album as my song about Dracula. Muahahaha. Pam, hopefully I shall be able to come visit before I leave Hell.

If you're going to say "y'all", please spell it correctly. And furthermore.....it's soda....not pop. I'm starting a poll. Everyone who says pop....tell me where you're from. I'm going to prove to you Pam that this is a northern thing. lol

I sat in the graveyard for Halloween. It's ironic that I find such peace there. With all the crazy things going on outside, the lights and sirens going off...I just sat with the dead and looked at the sky.

To all the stupid people out there: "Ich bin dein Negativ....und ich komme f�r Sie."

Yet another quote....

"She looks like she did the 100 yd. dash in a 90 yd. gym. :: insert head smack motion and pained grunt::"

We hit a deer last night while looking for a car that had a gigantic fridge strapped to the back of it. Poor deer :( Oh well, it'll take 2 asprin and feel better in the morning.

Jamie stopped me last night. "Excuse me....I wasn't going 48." "Yes you were." "No way." "Yes way!" "Loser!" "So?!....wait....." haha, I love him.

When people are trying to contain laughter...have you ever noticed how they look constipated? I have found my stress relief in screaming at stupid people 3 ways to Sunday. I guess some people find my comments rather amusing. Woo hoo.

On a final note....I have never been so turned on by cologne in my life. I have sunken to a new low.

Hey Pam, I have a new quote you can use for the people you despise most. You can thank Jamie for it later.

"She looks like she's been hit with a 100 lb. bag of 'What the hell?'"

People often wonder why I surround myself with men. The answer: I hate girls/women. Their stupidity annoys me. Granted I may be one of them, but it doesn't mean I act like them. I got stuck behind 4 dumb blonde crackheads tonight. They squealed excessively, for one thing. For another thing, one girl had just gotten on the Real World and was delirious. She kept yelling,"Want me to sign something for you? I'M GONNA BE FAMOUS!" "DO YOU REALIZE A FAMOUS PERSON IS HOLDING YOUR PEN???" ''OMG I'M LIKE SO FAMOUS!!!!!!!!" ...right.... just gag me with a fork.

Sometimes I wonder if the world is ready for me.
Then I realize....it isn't. Oops.

I tried to put in a cartoon I found, but it won't let me because it's stupid. I'll have to ask Pam how since she's the queen of this. Hmmm...

On another note: I've finished most of the studio work. I have some video ideas now. Alles in ordnung. muahaha.

First I'll start of by posting something I realized while driving the other day. You know you live in a redneck town when you see someone outside spraypainting their lawn green because it wasn't "the right color". Yeah.....moving on....

I indent, but yet when I publish the post, it goes away. Makes me irritable indeed. So what was I going to say....oh yes. More of life's rantings. I am now pitting the Army and the Air Force against each other. Whoever offers me the better deal, I will go with. :: sigh:: Being a genius is hard work sometimes. But fun, nonetheless. I must congratulate my mother's friend. She has made me so mad I was actually shaking with anger. It's a new record for me. I wanted to kill her with my bare hands and laugh like an insane maniac while doing it. She had the nerve to say that a certain someone wasn't good enough for me because he was a "dirty old man". Oh no. She doesn't know him. She has no right to judge him. And he isn't even that old. I have made my point. Now if you all will excuse me I have to go retrieve paper from my dog.

As Oli would say,"Pain or sorrow is the best starting point for artistic expression." Such deep words from a man who rarely uses any. (words not artistic expression) The songs are coming along quite beautifully. They reflect the deepest part of my soul that I locked away for a long time because no one cared about it and it had to come out some way. So it did so in song. Once "Timmy" finishes his bass line and Rusty finishes his guitars......it will be nice. Very nice indeed.

It's always interesting to be singing and look over only to see your 60-something year old keyboard player headbanging. In a suit, I might add. But the man is nevertheless a genius. He also kept trying to make me laugh by sticking his lips out and moving back and forth making noises like a lightsaber. However that's not as bad as my drummer...who slammed up against the glass and puffed out his mouth and slid down the glass. But I guess I'll forgive him because he gives excellent backrubs.

We thought about doing an indian song since my keyboarder and I are both indian. Tim and the drummer decided they wanted to do backup, so they started doing the indian chants along with him, except extremely out of key. I wish I could have tape-recorded that to use for blackmail later.

Weird things are definately happening around here. I'm getting "signs" and "dreams" more often. So something big is about to happen, and I think I know what. But I shall refrain from saying it until I am more certain. Good-bye for now.