Most of everything that's happened I have unfortunately forgotten to bless you with knowing about it. I do remember one thing though. My Dad almost shot a burglar. It was quite amusing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. As far as tonight goes, I got a new dress for my modeling graduation. It's two-color red and black. muahahaha. I walked around for hours in 3 inch high heels. Finally I hurt so bad that while we were walking in the parking lot (need I also add it was 17 degrees outside and snow is still blessing us with its presence), I finally just took my shoes off and ran barefoot through the snow covered parking lot singing,"BOOOOOOOORNNNNN FREEEEEEEEE!!!!!! FREEEEEEEE AS THE WIIIIIIIIIIND BLOWS!!!" I amused myself....but it doesn't take much to do that....

Why have I never noticed the beauty of winter? As I stood outside looking out over the pond and viewing the sunset with Christoph's song for me blaring into my ears, I wondered why I have never noticed the beauty of winter before. Maybe it was the hauntingly gorgeousness of his voice...or the song itself. Maybe it was the sunset that could have never been painted. No picture would have done it justice. Who knows....for whatever reason, be it unknown, I now have a new appreciation for Winter. On an unrelated note: I wish I lived in The Lord of the Rings. I would take Legolas downnnnnnnn rarrrrr. And on another unrelated note: My dog's butt looks like a bull's-eye.

Most interesting thing that happened today: (and the only thing that happened today) My dog caught my underwear on fire. Unfortunately not the pair still residing beside the steps. But it's okay now because he's peed at the bottom of the steps so many times no one will approach them. Problem solved. Why quit being lazy when you can just have your dog pee in front of it so no one will notice? He also peed on my computer wires today...badddddddd dog. Or as I call him when he destroys everything...Bad Hitler, bad! Moving on...

My aunt is so bad now she really doesn't know what she's saying. My mom and I asked her if she wanted to be moved back against the pillow and we thought she said,"No" but mom asked her again to make sure and she responded with,"yes, come on, we're women we can do it." So we pulled her back and then she started looking around and said,"....where are my dang tissues?'' and just then her husband came in and made some long speech about how he was taking care of her and blah blah blah and she said,"......well you're not doing a very good job...." Now, granted, all this would have probably been much funnier if you could have heard her say it.

We didn't have a New Year's or a Christmas. How lovely. I hold out so much hope for 2003. NOT.


~~~~"You are the ringbearer. To have the ring is to be alone."

We really didn't have Christmas this year. I did get that German diplomat training thing I wanted, but with my aunt dying,
it's kind of hard to celebrate. I must still order my one ring though, muahaha.

I have a secret no one knows
I hide it well, but sometimes it shows
A living lie, a powerful fear
Every truth is forgotten here
Worlds are created where none should have been
The truth comes out, but is buried again
Under more and more lies that breed from pain
A promise forgotten, lost in the flame
I have failed you where I swore I would not
Left you alone and left memories to rot
For a precious second I admit the truth
Writing it down so it is safe from you
So close are the words upon my lips
But instead I write them from my fingertips
Then I throw the words into the fire
Burning with my own foolish desire
To live a life that is not my own
But I must go on so no one knows

The guys at the Police Station are crazy. When they get together they can never be serious. I was looking through the books where they list what calls they've had during a shift and someone listed a woman as "Psycho chick". There were "job ads" listed for drunk/drug junkies such as "Lil' Daddy is available to speak in schools to tell children about drugs. He requires payment in Crank or equivilent." Someone had also marked "Anthrax" on the sugar container and drawn on the people on the FBI Most wanted list.

Then again, some people are just as stupid. The Medicine Shoppe was broken into the other day. The robber broke the window pane and simply unlocked the door and walked in. The owner walked toward the door with a cardboard box lid and some scotch tape. The detective asked him what he was doing and the owner replied,"oh, I'm securing the door." Yeah, real secure. He finally settled on the cardboard box top and duct tape. People in this town impress me to a degree of stupidity I have never experienced before.

A friend from our church came a few days ago. Unfortunately there my underwear still lay. Yes, quite embarrassing because it still lays there. I have a puppy now who likes to urinate all over the floor whenever possible. I am not amused. He found my underwear laying beside the steps the other day. Then he proceeded to pick it up, flinging it around wildly for all the world to see. I tried to chase him, but to no avail. As of yet, I have no clue where my underwear is. He also stole my bra this morning, put it on his head, and dashed off into the yard in front of everyone. I was once again not amused. I feel like I have post-natal depression. Yes, life sucks.

It is many, many days later. I have come to yet another realization: A man from our church has stopped by the house with his fairly attractive son and there, beside the steps, sits my pair of underwear. Unmoved. I live a sad life indeed if I cannot get up off my lazy butt and remove that underwear to save myself further embarrassment. Yes, I am lazy indeed.

I went to Barbizon Sunday. Quite fun I must say. I will never get why guys flirt with you in hopes of "scoring" when it's obvious they excel in pouring comments on thick like concrete but lack the substances necessary to make it solid. No, no they are devious yet stupid. The more I resist, the more they follow. When will they learn I may be a model, but that does not make me dim-witted and brainless. Yes, young patowan, you still have much to learn. And since when do you kiss somebody by making your lips shrink as if you've just won a chugging contest with lemon juice?

I have nothing else to say for once. I was thinking the other night....you know...I'm doing pretty well for myself and I'm a great person. Oh no...no self-esteem problems here :) And on an unrelated note: I'M GETTING A GERMAN SHEPHERD PUPPY! Christoph would be proud muahaha.

At this moment in time at 4:40 A.M. I am currently pondering 3 things.

1.) Why I have not noticed a pair of my underwear laying beside the front steps? Judging from the cobwebs it has been there for quite some time. Coming up the steps this morning something just happened to catch my eye. What could it be, you ponder? Why nothing but a pair of my underwear broadcasting itself for all the world to see. Many people had been by our house by this point so there's no telling how many people came by and saw that and thought we lived like bottom dwellers. How most unfortunate for me. At of yet, I have not moved my ego deflating embarrassment (a.k.a underwear) I guess I shall have to attend to such duties before I go to bed and someone (else) important comes by and notices.

2.) Why is it that you feel most at peace in the early morning hours in the frigid temperatures freezing your butt off because you didn't put on enough layers? The world may never know...

3.) Why is my ice cream melting all over my keyboard? Biting into it is like biting into a telephone pole it's so frozen, but yet....here it melts to take sticky prints off my fingers when I type. I must eat it to solve this problem....

Have you ever noticed how children talk to themselves? They would not make good mayors and I have a reason behind such a statement. While driving to Spartanburg, Brent amused himself by playing "Sims City 3000" on my laptop. I would hear him occassionally read out what the Sims were saying, and then if a comment made him mad enough, he would either put a disaster on them or raise taxes. Within 5 minutes the city was practically leveled and taxes were up to 22%. I will now recreate the timespan he spent talking with himself.....

"Woahhhhhhhh Heather check out this city! It has 2 million people in it! What? I'm spending $350,000 a month on them? Oh no.....some of this stuff has to go. ::proceeds to uncheck neccessary things. Water/waste/etc.:: Let's see....homeless shelters....they cost too much....out they go. What? My Sims are protesting! Wellll....it's time for a....::evil grin:: NATURAL DISASTER!!! ::makes tornado noises as the tornado demolishes the city then laughs hysterically:: HEATHER LOOK AT THEM RUN! LOOK! AHAHAHAHAHAH! Ok time for an earthquake!" at which point I reply,"It's a good thing you're not God." He started to say something but then said,"HEY LOOK! THE MOTHERSHIP! It's attacking the city how cool is that?!" Then he set a nuclear power plant between the famous land marks (of course the mothership hit the power plants and that blew everything within a 25 mile radius up) What was left he set on fire. Then what few Sims were left started a riot and started throwing trashcans and debris. Yes....such a lovely world they live in.

Whatever else I was going to say....I forgot....

I saw the bootleg version of "8 Mile" tonight. While the audio (the bootleg's fault) and the meaning
(The writer's fault) were hard to make out, I sat through it anyway wishing it was over. Don't get me wrong,
I do agree with Pam in the fact that Marshall is a good actor. But as far as the movie goes, I wasn't really
that impressed. Let me tell you why.

1.) I don't enjoy sex scenes. I would rather not waste time watching two people do each other. And no,
don't come back at me with some crack-headed comment like,"oh, Heather, it's art." It's not art, it's sex.
If it was art there would be "Da Vinci" stamped on someone's butt or something. I think people's bodies
need to be kept to themselves and their significant other, not to the whole world. And the scene can pretty
much go unnoticed if it's quick and over witih. But on and on and on these two people went at it. They're
screwing like dogs in heat, I GET IT ALREADY! Where did it fit with the plot?

2.) Not that much more had been achieved at the end than in the beginning. Okay, the man won the contest.
That's great. Kudos to him. I'm glad he finally got the nerve up and didn't get "choked". But he was still no
further along. He still lived in a trailor, still worked his butt off, still had no dreams materialize, etc etc. The
only thing accomplished was him getting over his stage fright and winning a contest that he even said he
didn't care about winning anyway.

and I don't really enjoy movies with trailor trash people in them. At least not if they stay that way through
the whole movie. Not to say that he was trailor trash...his mother was. And she was a dead-beat no count
mother and the only way she tried to fix it was to win bingo. Yes, that changes everything....not...

Nothing aggravates me more than people honking the horn. I don't understand why it was even
invented. Yesterday I was walking downtown Atlanta to eat dinner with my cousin and her husband (
who are in the CIA might I add.) and every single person on the freaking road was honking the horn.
There was apparently no reason for the loud obnoxious hand slap against the rubber that makes that
noise...so eventually I became so frustrated I screamed,"SHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!" as loud as I could to at
least 750 people. Everyone stopped. Then they began randomly honking the horn at poor little me
standing infuriated on the sidewalk. I informed them that they should read between the lines and left
it at that.

My uncle is a funny guy. I never really knew that. He came back to America to be with my aunt and it
was supposed to be a surprise. Of course my great-aunt told her (as usual) and he starting railing to
whoever would hear. He said (in an extremely thick British accent),"I would like to inquire why she told
Angela about me being here and I would love to see her go dry for excuses while I railed at her in my
sexy attractive English accent!" Then we got to talking about careers and being positive and modeling
and so forth and so on. Mom told him she thought he should be a model. To which I quipped,"Oh
yeah. A Calvin Klein underwear model!" and he said,"oh my God no....I'm way too sexy to graze the
cover of a magazine. Why think of all the accidents it would cause!" ...no comment and moving on.
He's also very blunt too. I mentioned to him that I needed to shave and he said,"Ah, growing well then
are we? Or just trying to see if the 'goat look' is fashionable?" I would laugh if that were funny.

On another note, my best friend Lori and I have decided to take it upon ourselves to become fluent
in German. Once that language has been attained into our simple, yet extremely brilliant minds we will
continue on to the University of Heidelberg in...where else...Germany. There we will become better
than all of you. Guten tag.

PS Last and official name change: Nele Renatae Ulrich

I'm here in Atlanta. My aunt is dying of cancer and only has a few days left. I broke
my glasses. I broke my brand new contact. I am not happy.

I didn't know what hospital they took my aunt to, then I found out she was at Emory.
I went to Emory hospital only to find out that there were two Emory hospitals and the
one I was at was not the one she was at. I had to walk up two flights of the parking
garage, walk to the other side of the building, go up an elevator, walk down another
walkway to find this out. Then I had to run to make it on time because it costs if you
are in the parking lot for more than 15 minutes. Lucky me. It was pretty much the
same thing at the other hospital. But I did find something interesting. People in
Atlanta can't give directions for crap! I got lost more times than I knew was possible.
At the hospital we found out the news on my aunt. My uncle is still in a state of "If I
believe it will happen, it will happen" and is therefore refusing to accepted the fact
she has a limited time left. She was hallucinating and talking about a big pipe that
said,"big wompum" on it.

On my frustrating voyage of being lost, I came to stop light that refused to change.
I became so mad I started honking at the light knowing it wouldn't hear me but doing
it anyway. I felt better temporarily.

Someone who thinks I'm her friend calls wanted me to take her somewhere. I told
her earlier that I was in Atlanta and reminded her again of where I was. She then
proceeded to ask me how long it would take me to get back home. Ah...stupidity is
such a hard disease to cure.

On an unrelated note: my blog is screwed up and I am not happy.

Along with Wal-Mart, I also hate the system. Yes that law-making system that has nothing better to
do. "I just want you to be safe." the pug-looking policeman said to me. I was the only car around
for miles. Okay, MILES. I could have slammed straight through the concrete median and still not hit
anyone. I went to court today. He cut it down to 2 points and $52. I appreciate that but I would
rather him just take it all off! RARRRR!!! You know if I was a bad person I would have any job I
wanted, and come out virtually unscathed in anything.

Deep thinking has the ability to hurt one's brain. It would be much easier if I had no brain and no
heart. Much like the tin man. My new ambition in life: to become the tin man. Sometimes life is
great. Sometimes all of a sudden you feel like you been body-slammed to the ground and a big fat
man is sitting on you prohibiting your breathing and movement (or lack thereof). But, we move on
because we must. We stumble and struggle trying to make sense of it all, but I wonder....is it ever
supposed to make sense? Possibly not. Nothing happens for free and nothing comes without
determination. This is life...it comes to you and says,"ich hab euch etwas mitgebracht, hab es aus
meiner Brust gerissen." But do not be fooled. It lies to you and has brought you nothing.

PS Semper Fi, mein liebe, Semper Fi

I hate Wal-Mart. I really do. If it was on fire, I would shoot the tires out of the fire truck so it couldn't get there and sit back in a recliner (stolen from Wal-Mart) and watch the blaze. Oh, and steal some marshmallows so I could roast them. Muahaha. I tried to return my Episode II DVD because Wal-Mart only carried the Wide-Screen Version, and I didn't know they even made a Full-Screen Version until I went to the mall and saw it. It was also 5 dollars cheaper. Of course Wal-Mart wouldn't take it back. Rarrrrrrrr

I went to Circuit City to put in an application. I guess the jobs you are meant for ask the most questions. I had to filll out a 6 page form, signing that I would allow them to check my credit, give me a lie detector test, etc, etc. Then I had to fill out a 98 question form that asked the same question on more than one occasion. On my way out I met some redneck women. If as if they even resemble anything close to women. I think they were trying to say something to offend me...(they're just jealous cause....in the words of the Nicole...."OH MAH GOODNESS TITTIES AND TEETH! NEVER SEEN THEM COMBINED!")...and this isn't the first time any redneck has tried to say something derogatory towards me even when it doesn't make sense. But they don't succeed very often if they do want to offend me since deficient articulation due to lack of teeth prevents me from hearing the content of the offending comment. Still, however, they try.

Germans, Southerners, Indians, and Christians are always the butt of Hollywood. Fortunately for me I am all 4. So I am allowed to be offended more often. Germans are usually portrayed as Hitler-devoted Nazi Fascists, even though most of them are not. They are some of the most hard-working, close to perfect people out there. (did I mention extremely good looking?) Southerners are always portrayed as the redneck loser retard who is prejudice towards everyone and everything. That's not even close. (rednecks are another story...but...) Just because you are southern does not make you a retard, a redneck, a loser, or anyone dificient in vocabulary. So shutup with the whole prejudice thing and rebel flag. The rebel flag stands for all the men who fought and died in the war. It's official name is the "confederate flag" for a reason. Heritage, not hate. If you don't agree, I live here so SIT DOWN AND SHUTUP. No one I know is prejudice. Everyone gets along just fine. If you want to talk about slavery, the north sold slaves to the south. What now? And you were not a slave and I never owned slaves so I DON'T OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. Indians are usually viewed as scalpers, blood thirsty and devoid of emotion. Again, not true. Some of them were like that. But as I say....I am part indian and I have never killed, scalped, ripped someone's heart out, drank their blood, etc. Christians are usually viewed as weak, helpless idiots who rant and rave to the stars as if they were cavemen. I know some who are a little bit on the extreme side, but we are not all like that. (99.99% of us.) Some of the coolest people you'll ever meet are Christian. Deal with it. The reason for this ranting is I watched "Windtalkers" last night. Good movie except for that man they had play a Southerner. Complete with backwoods accent, prejudice, and idiocy. I am not amused.

On a final note, I have a new quote. "Sigmund Freud....ANALYZE THIS! ::BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yes, I am aware I just sounded like a redneck, but my only bad habit is burping and it is not done in fancy places. At least I don't fart like the rest of the population. I rest my case.

I only have one thing to say really. "I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little everyday since you came into my life."

Imran thinks I need a mentor. I think I need mentally challeneged adults to stop trying to fix what doesn't need be fixed. In short, I am annoyed that I am not allowed to live my life the way I want to live it because people think I should be the cookie-cutter idea of a certain way/person. I'm trying to get him or my aunt to take me to get a tattoo but they won't because they are scared of what my mother will think. Well too bad. I'm getting one anyway. I will find the tattoo place myself. It is time for me to live and LIVE is what I will do! MUAHAHAHA!

I was coming out of the marta station the other day. This is where I found that the saying,"you can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy." Is entirely too true. As I was getting ready to walk down the stairs I discovered a little boy about 3 peeing in a corner. I'm not going to tell what was going through my mind at that point and time. We walked down to the marta and sat down on one of the benches (or concrete slabs) and got wrapped up in a conversation lacking any intelligent speech whatsoever between two women. The conversation was as follows:

Woman 1: Yo.......nigga don't chu be takin' mah phone like da' or imma slap ya.
Woman 2: Whatchu talkin' 'bout nigga i din' touch yo phone!
Woman 1: I seh you betta NOT be tou......::phone rings:: hang on...HELLO? OH HAY BABY! WHERE YOU IS? Where I is? I AT THA TRAIN STATION. OH I SEE YOU! YOU'S ACROSS DA SKREET! GET ON OVER HERE! Okay...I luh' ya...bye bye. ::hangs up and stares as if nothing has happened.::
Woman 2: Who da' was?
Woman 1: aw das jus' mah baby daddy.
Woman 2: yo boyfriend?
Woman 1: no
Woman 2: yo husband?
Woman 1: no thas jus my baby daddy.

My uncle is British. Refined British too. He does not talk like Ozzy Osbourne. It's more...well...cultured. At which point he becomes fascinated with the way they are talking, and in a thick British accent says,"Hey! Look a' tha' brotha' over theh' in the nice hat. That be coo'. He be the man." At which point both ladies look over at him and say,"NO" in the most disbelieving way as if he would ever dare use their accent....or lack thereof. But Imran finds many things fascinating that we do not. Just yesterday he came running in the room saying,"OH LOOK ANGELA! I FOUND A PENCIL SHAHPNAH! HOW EXCEYTING!!!" Sad really...but I love him to death.

I agree with Pam: Wal-mart SUCKS. There were several CD's I wanted to get. (I found plenty of John Mayer by the way.) However, they were sold out of all of what I wanted. They had plenty of what I didn't want, though. I was determined not to leave without a CD. (I'm sorry but I can only take Buck Owens, Johnny Cash, George Jones, and all those other old-time country crooners for so long. Not that I don't like them...I just can't listen to them all night.) I finally decided on one after looking through the entire collection album by album. Yes, every single CD was combed through and given a good inspection by yours truly....and yours truly was not impressed. I then discovered an ad for the new 007 game. Intrigued, I forgot all about the CD I didn't really want anyway and stared at the T.V. screen in stupified awe. I spent 30 minutes trying to find the game, finally coming to the conclusion it wasn't out yet. I tried to catch one of the staff to ask them, but they spotted me and would scatter like flies on dead meat anytime I got within 120 feet. After running around the whole store, I finally caught one. She conveniently did not have the list with her. Note to self: Ban Wal-Mart.

I got back to the police station just in time to watch in horror as one policeman put in "40 Days and 40 Nights". I tried to think nice thoughts about the movie, but the only coherent thought that was distinguishable was,"This movie sucks." That and,"Must....escape..." Being more of an action movie person myself, I can take the occasional romantic movie. This was nothing but pure stupidity. If you like the movie, I don't care because it's stupid. Pam is going to comment on this I'm sure because I'm about to say the only movie worse than this one was "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back". The plot....."do not have sex for 40 days and 40 nights." How pathetic is that and how pathetic is the person who has to make a deal for favor with God that he won't have sex for 40 days and 40 nights? Does he think God is stupid? Did the director think we are stupid? More than likely so. I do not find this sort of plot entertaining in the least bit. His masturbational fantasies, complete with former sex visions and what not did not interest me. Point being: It's just stupid. I can only take so many cuss words in one movie. Every so often I can deal with I don't really care, but every other word just shows their ignorance because they have nothing else to say. Movies like that are written by people with no brain who cannot think up normal decent dialogue so they throw in words that fit to make it minimum standard time so they can have their name out there in Hollywood because their daddy is a rich man and IF YOU DON'T WATCH THEIR MOVIE HE WILL FIRE YOU! With that said....I'm going to bed now....

I'm always thinking of you then...

Ok change that. It makes more sense for the character to be German since I'm learning German....hmmm...I don't knowww. Comment and I'll take a poll. Should i play a German or Russian? And nobody better say both.

I've decided that my character in my movie is going to be Russian. Well...not really Russian...but you would have to read it to understand and I'm not going to let you read it. You'll have to watch it. MUAHAHAHAHHA