I still haven't figured out how to make titles for my blog . . .  I suppose this means I'm finally getting older in this world. I remember the days of old, when I used to laugh at my teachers who couldn't read my letters to friends because they were written in shiny, bright orange gel pen. We called them old biddies and laughed at their inability to read something so amazingly clear to us.

I think the orange glaze burned out my eyes. When I was back in the States on vacation, I found said letters and tried to read them. Within 2 seconds it was painfully clear that it was going to be quite a difficult task to undertake, and I threw the letters to the side with a hearty "screw this!" Yes, I have arrived. I don't know what the letters said, but I feel certain they weren't very important, judging from the ones I did find not written in colours of the sun. 

I also used to be able to put anything together without instructions. The other day I put together a tiny waterfall that involved only 3 pieces. The base, the top, and the cord. Easy, no? I then spent two days wondering what idiot designed it that the cord was coming out of the front. "Don't they know no one wants to see the cord in front?" I pondered to no one in particular. "Even a child could see it belongs in the back!" I continued to think about this while talking with my friend Erin two days later and came to a very shocking realisation: I had put the whole thing together backwards. My only question: HOW?! It only had THREE PIECES, and somehow I put it together BACKWARDS. Yes, it was disturbing. 

I spent most of this morning doing entirely unproductive things like reading my old blog entries. Some of them were amusing; most, however, were not and made me really glad I don't act so stupid anymore. At least, not that I'm aware of. Now that I think about it, I thought the same thing about myself back then as I do now . . . hmm . . . this warrants looking in to. 

Book 1 is closer to becoming finalised, but I'm unfortunately experiencing a rather severe case of writer's block. Well, it's not writer's block per se, I can still write things, they just suck hard. So, for the moment, it's sitting to the side until I have another continuing dream or come up with better ideas. I just want it to be something to rock people's faces off and not run dry towards the end. I know I, for one, feel cheated when books do that. Only time will tell . . . 

My toilet had a hangover again on Saturday. I had enjoyed three weeks of silence and was enjoying a very tasty cup of pudding on the couch in the bedroom when I heard it:

Blerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

My first thought was, "No, it couldn't be . . . " and then, "SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE!" as I ran into the bathroom and discovered that soap bubbles with flecks of gunk were invading my bathroom floor. At least before I had been blessed with the smell of cleanliness, even if it did come from the toilet. This time it smelled like raw sewage and immediately made me want to throw up. This problem is obviously coming from someone's pipes upstairs, as I hear a noise like water coming down the pipes, and then bam . . . party bubbles for the bathroom. Besides the obvious "why me?", my first thought was, "Why can't it do this from 9 - 5 on a Monday - Friday?" After those hours and on weekends, the hotline for calling and yelling at the people who fix everything is only for emergencies. The toilet has vomited soap bubbles everywhere six times to date. Five of those times at random hours of the night or weekend, so when I call, all I get is: "Does the toilet still work?" "Yes" "Then call us on Monday." Of course by Monday its violent hangover has stopped and all is well again in Loo-Loo Land. As my father would say: "If it ain't one thang, it's anuther."

My slats for the bed finally came. I'm not sure if I posted about this before, but I finally got the new, wonderful bed put together (all by myself, I might add. No thanks to certain others.) The giant mattress that I've had for about a month now as it waited on the bed went on, and I leapt onto it in ecstasy . . . and fell straight through. Apparently Kaltschaum mattresses and no slats don't go well together. I had to order the slats and that took 10 days 'til forever, but finally, FINALLY all is on and well in the land of Heather. Every time I lay on my bed that will now fit three people comfortably, I roll around on it and giggle like a little school girl on crack. 

The painting of the room wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, it only took 3 coats (2 of white, 1 one of peach.) and to top it all off, I didn't screw it up! Take that everyone who told me I needed a professional painter! Besides, as bad as it looked before, I'm sure they would have charged me an arm, leg, and part of a first-born. I also installed all the carpet myself, which, if I had known then how big of a job it was going to be, I really wouldn't have done it myself. When it was delivered, the guy brings in this carpet FOUR METRES WIDE and asks where he should put it. There wasn't space for anything four metres wide, so I told him just to put it straight through into the bedroom. He did, and it hung out into the hallway. "No problem,"I thought. "I'll just unroll it, set it down, and cut it. Simple." Not! Three and a half hours later, I was sitting in the middle of a pile of carpet going, "Lord, I can't do this." But, thankfully, God helped me out with it and it took an entire day, but I got that sucka down and didn't do a bad job of it. 

Now I'm in the process of getting picture frames and finalizing what i have affectionately named "The Sunset Lounge." It's very elegant, I must say. Every room in the house now has a theme, with the living room being "Gothic Romance." Though its transformation is nowhere near complete. At least most of the disgusting brown is gone from the house, and that pleases me. 

It's been 3 years since my last post on this blog. I would say it seems like just yesterday, but no, 3 years seems about right. Hopefully I'll be able to update this regularly, but don't count on it. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes . . . 

I'm scared of my toilet. Four times over the weekend it has vomited soap bubbles uncontrollably like a college student with a bad hangover. I called ALBA about it, but somehow they just thought it was my fault. 

"What are you doing to it before it, as you put it, farts soap bubbles?" the woman on the other line asked me.

"Nothing!" I screamed back, knee deep in toilet suds. 

"Well, if it still flushes it isn't an emergency. You'll have to call us back on Monday."

"It's 2 A.M. on a Saturday morning, my toilet has a hangover, and you want me to call back on Monday?!"

"Yes *click*"

I was not amused. It was someone from upstairs, I know it. I heard water coming through the pipes as they flushes the toilet, used the dishwasher, or whatever it was they were doing, then all of a sudden, bam: party at my house. Now all I need is some laser lights and a bunch of potheads. This, my friends, is German efficiency at its worst.

You know, I'm really getting tired of replacing bras. I suppose though if I were smart I would put them in a place where he couldn't reach....oh wait....I already did that. Where do you put something out of reach of a dog your height? Oh well, I digress...

My studying for the CLEP test is progressing right along as scheduled. I love being smart. I'm also getting the hang of this Logistics officer stuff. The only bad thing is being out in the 102 degree heat carrying desks, filing cabinets, and other office furniture up to the 2nd story of a fire station. I was not amused.

Since I have nothing better to do...I'm going to add the 5,000 funny friend quotes I've been saving up because anything else I say will just be mushy I'm sure. I hate mushy moods. I'm going to set them on fire.


There's swastika babies outside my apartment!!-Erin

"Sup yo?"-Lori
"girl you know I just be sittin' here in my hizzy burnt up like a red lobster on crack, yo"-me


So let me get this straight...the earth was created by space farts? -Erin


"Hey Lance, if I throw up on your shoes would you be mad?"-Me
"I think I would be bitter, yes"-Lance


"boobs and a penis on the same body don't bode well for society"-Me
"tell that to fat men"-Ryan


Crash 2oo: Im going to go snorkling after work today
Daz2H: oooOOOOooo....you lucky....
Crash 2oo: then run like 4 miles back to camp
Daz2H: ...ok I take it back

Suzan says:
but why would they go to US if no tour?
Suzan says:
what they are going to go to radio stations and chat?
Suzan says:
go on Oprah
Heather says:
Christoph: zo.....opwah....as you can see.....I was vewy distwessed at zis time....zis woman.....I don't know why but....I go here...she go zer.......I tell her no byebye, she stay....SHE NO LEAVE! and....and....my heazah......she had to go back....to....to zis....PLACE! *looks at camera* I LOVE YOU HEAZAH!!!!! CALL ME *being carried away by security*"

"Where you go Heazah?!?!"--Erin and Suzan

"Are you demon earwax?"-395723 different people
"For the last time it's DAEMON....ERWACHEN!!!!!"-Me

"I smell oil. Wait no, I know what it is. It's the Fire Dept.! Welllll that solves THAT!"-Me


"I wish we had some rice to throw on them"-Lana
"How about paperclips?"-Bull


Suzan says:
mummy... i am Aidan...Aidan Doom.. 007



Suzan says:
well .. i know about outfit changes... when I went to see him, he had changed his clothes for meeeee
Heather says:
strategically placed leaves do not count as clothes, suzan!!!!


"So...I was looking in the mirror yesterday and I thought 'wow I'm hot'"-Me



"So don't spill the coffee"-Mike
"Beans!!!!"-Audience
"beans...yeah.....whatever"-Mike


"Heather....you my ho...."-Bianca
"And B, you my rake fo' life."-Me


"I think I like you *hiccup* Infinity bottles of beer on the wall! take one down pass it around INFINITY BOTTLES OF BEEEEEERRRRR"-Ryan


"I don't want to sleep with you, I just want to look at you, is that ok?" -Julie
I would add......"EVEN FROM OUTSIDE THE WINDOWS::::NO PROBLEMS::::" -Deb


"Are you kidding?! I bet he gets dressed up to go to the ER"-TB


"You know I tried to call you yesterday, but SOMEONE.....I'm not going to name any names......JUST POINT MY ELBOW IN HER GENERAL DIRECTION......*juts elbow out towards me* wouldn't answer the phone!!"-Bianca

Suzan says:
I will be throwing empty bullet casings at you instead of confetti or rice!


Suzan says:
it's just a diamond..
Heather says:
I know
Suzan says:
it looks amazing of course
Suzan says:
but
Heather says:
i'd be afraid I'd be mugged
Suzan says:
hahahahahah
Suzan says:
yeah that's true
Heather says:
and at least if someone tried to mug me with a fake one on I'd be like,"here take it"otherwise I'd be like,'NO FOO' YOU BETTER BACK UP!!!!!! Back up off my bling bling"


Heather says:
it's like....walking down the street and all of a sudden a piano falls on you
Heather says:
and then says,"In case you missed that, Hi, I'm a piano and I just fell on your head"


Suzan says:
like Richard is gonna pomp the mic stand for that!


Suzan says:
but you became reallllly calm
Heather says:
yeah I was like that after I saw those wedding pictures
Heather says:
and had my little voodoo doll stabbing session


"*gets rake again* Hello rake, my old friend"-Me


"OK let's start an earwax collection fund so she can get those new maps."-Nick
"Yeah.....brought to you by Q-Tip Inc?"-Pete


"Hey...when you have a daughter you should name her Kidada!"-Donna


"Get that mechanically grown and processed meat away from me!! I bet they made it with lasers!!!"-Roger


"I have employees screaming at me, but they can wait. Probably just a tornado or somethin'."-Jimmy

"I hate them stupid mices!!! (pronounced: Meeses)"-Tim



Heather says:
my dog is a nutcase
Suzan says:
what's he doing?
Heather says:
eating a plastic container
Suzan says:
hahahah.. ohh don't let him or he will crap plastic bits



Suzan says:
He did not kiss me the way he kissed that whorebag




Suzan says:
YEAH.... honestly.. what was that?>??
Suzan says:
she was chewing his face like a steak
Suzan says:
I will be a little angel with him
Suzan says:
like Christoph found you singing on the hilltops of Austria like the Sound of music???



Suzan says:
ciao ciao
Heather says:
meow mix



"*stands on ashes of house and waves to passerby* Support us for a tax district!"-Chief
"Yeah, the people that lived here didn't. Vote for a tax district or your house is next!!"-Assistant Chief

Ryan says:
that guitar even looks like mine!
Heather says:
I knowww
Heather says:
Schatzie what are you not telling me?
Ryan says:
That secretly I am a woman?


"Where's the baby?" *FOOMP* -Ryan



"Are you pregnant?"-Psycho lady
"*he and chief tackle me* ma'am, you better run....NOW!"-Lt. Morton



"Daniel, you need to take these desks."-Billie
"What am I gonna do with 'em? Build a castle?"-Daniel


"That looks like BUTT!"-Tim


"Who's the father?"-Chief Weisner
"Your mom."-Me


"HAHAHAH.....that....wasn't really that funny."-Jimmy



"Oh, don't go skiing. Then I'll see it on FOX news...."Breaking news...student goes flying off mountain. Yes, we thought it was funny, too."-Lt. Morton




"I didn't smoke enough crack to deal with this effectively."-Tim


" yeah, I guess we did meet in a bar"-Erin
"you guess? That place couldn't have been more bar if you stuck a sign outside that said "Honkey tonk" and put a jukebox in the corner full of redneck songs, gave everyone a beer, and watched them line dance"-Me



"Heather that's a Fall shirt"-Mom
"Well it's a Summer shirt now"-Me



Suzan says:
why is it sad to find someone that does that to you?
Heather says:
i dunno....cause I feel like one of those people that always gets on your nerves. The hopeless romantic dreamer always locked in the tower waiting for her knight in shining armor to come save her
Heather says:
cause she can't drop kick the bozo in the head that's holding her captive

Suzan says:
i know... you like to be strong
Suzan says:
but that's what love does
Suzan says:
screws you over for life
Suzan says:
basically.
Heather says:
it's like taking a snail out of its shell and putting it on the ground
Heather says:
that was real reassuring, Suzan
Suzan says:
and then being stuck in a sandstorm
Heather says:
ok you're not helping!




Suzan says:
I hope that Claudia song is about how he killed a girl called Claudia
Suzan says:
or a girl called Claudia that once was Claude
Suzan says:
I hate that name now
Heather says:
no it's how I strangled a girl to death using her pantyhose


Suzan says:
well what would you rate us ?
Suzan says:
you've seen it all
Heather says:
I had the voices in my head sweep it all up and throw it out my ear. So I don't know what you're talking about



"Pageland? What kind of a town name is Pageland? It sounds like an amusement park for nerds."-Me



Suzan says:
mmmmm.. but I suppose they wouldn't make such a serious decision on the fly...
Suzan says:
you think they would???
Heather says:
i don't know that's why I said i could be grasping at straws
Heather says:
see......*holds out fistful of straws*




Heather says:
it's working?
alece says:
yuo
Heather says:
awesome! That'll be $400
alece says:
lol how about a OMGTHANKSALOTHEATHERRRRRRRRRRRRR WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ????




alece says:
no is the thing on engel. the thing they make with the lips
Heather says:
you mean whistle?
alece says:
yes that





Heather says:
but the holes in that story are there
Heather says:
do you see the holes though? *looks through one at you*
Heathersays:
you see what I'm talking about? *pokes finger through another one*
Heather says:
*waves at you with finger*



Heather says:
yo mama
Erin says:
No... you mama!
Erin says:
wait
Erin says:
no
Erin says:
yo
Erin says:
Right?

I write this as my monster of a dog is eating the last shreds of my bra. Poor thing. Once he poops it out I must give it a proper burial indeed....or not. But anyway....

Tonight was a wonderful night to have my turnout gear washed. Of course I'll have to make up for it later, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. We set a house on fire with firecrackers. One of those "don't try this at home" stunts that you always wanted to try anyway. We also practiced flipping out of a 2nd story window onto a ladder. Lucky for me, my lack of turnout gear made me not eligible to try such harrowing stunts. I'm sure I could do it, but I'd rather have some sort of incentive. The house was on fire, sure, but I'm thinking of something more, say..oh...I don't know....my butt was on fire as well. That would cause me to hop out of that window in a heartbeat I'm sure. Oh well. C'est la vie.

Does no one find it odd that I'm supposed to be putting fires OUT, but yet enjoy creating them and/or just standing in their midst thinking "ooooOOOOoooo purdyyy". I set my kitchen on fire a few days ago...although it was entirely not my fault, to my credit. Maybe this is why I became a firefighter? To put things out when I set them on fire? But where's the fun in that? Ah well, I suppose preservation of myself and all my tools to take over the world is a must. I haven't posted in quite some time...and I knew exactly what I was going to say when I came in here and sat down...but now I've forgotten. Oh well, such is old age. At least now I'm not responsible for anything I don't remember....sort of..and can just blame it on forgetfulness...or something to that effect.

Have I told you yet that I get this perverse pleasure in saying "I told you so" ? -Erin

"I Told him 'I haven't been taking any drugs! I'll prove it! We can go to Wal-Mart and buy all the drug tests there and you can watch me pee."-Brandy

"With songs like "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose" who WOULDN'T love country music??" -Hub

"They spend over 20 HOURS cooking Thanksgiving DINNER?!!! I would never do that. At my Thanksgiving Dinner there would be a little note in the center of the table that said 'Brought to you by Peking Express'" -Me

"Good morning sunshine"
"Grrr" -Josh and me

"Now is there anything else you need?"
"3 million dollars"
"....oh...darn...I left my checkbook in my other pants"
"and the dog ate it?"
"Yep"
"You don't have a dog"
"oh....I meant...the chickens got it."
"The chickens?"
"Yeah they scratched all over them pants" -Dad and me

"And I felt all warm and fuzzy and I was grinning like a loon"
"You sure it's not an ebola?" -Erin and me

alece, 13 dias para Reise Reise!! sagt:
which is gonna be the tile
alece, 13 dias para Reise Reise!! sagt:
?
alece, 13 dias para Reise Reise!! sagt:
"HELP, PLEASE, HELP!!!"
alece, 13 dias para Reise Reise!! sagt:
?

"His shoes are so big you could ski on them things" -Bobby

"Poor fat hamster" -Me

"Pee pee dance, pee pee dance!!" -Brandy

"There's a good one and a bad one. You know somethin' happened in the gene pool. Some of 'em got all the genes and some of 'em just butt naked with the genes you know." -Josh B.

"Those fortune cookies are addictive. I bet there's cocaine in them" -Ryan

Crash 2oo: and I can say.. I killed people.. and then you will be like..
Crash 2oo: that makes me hot

"What did you do?"
"I'll give you a hint.....it starts with 'I threw a chip in your drink.'"
"no seriously.....what did you do? YOU THREW A SUGAR PACKET AT ME!"
"No...."
"Yes you did here it is on the floor! hey.....why is there a chip in my drink?" -Rhette and Nate

"Hey waiter....will you bring him a cracker? He's on a diet"-Me

*at Broncos*
"Hey do you have P.O.D.?"
"What?"
"P.O.D."
"What's that?"
"A rock band"
"um.....no....but.....we have mariachi!!" -Rhette and the waiter

"I should've named my daughter......first name: thegrass. middle name: is. Get it? The grass is greene? hahahahha.....man that's mean." -Brandy

"But radioactive..hmm..I'm gonna die turning into something neat" -Erin

"Y'all know what it's like to run in a bathrobe? Ok me neither...." -Josh B.

"I have the straw of death!"-Me

"Watch out or I'll stab you with my napkin!!"-Nate

"Yeah I noticed you up there. I was like HAHAHAHAHA she had it comin'."-Kim

"He's standing up there like a stone statue!"
"Aren't all statues stone?"
"yeah...but that's not the point. He's just so...white." -Jennifer and Steven

"But what if he has a girlfriend?"
"Have you seen him? He doesn't have a girlfriend."-Erin and me

"I want you"
"I bet you do"-Robert and me

"Have I ever told you how scary you are in the morning?"
"I'll stab you in the back with this pen if you keep talking." -Josh and me

"I saw you up there on that ladder!!....you borrowed SOMEONE ELSE'S LADDER! I had a perfectly good ladder in my garage!!"
"Well, if it makes you feel any better I didn't enjoy it." -Mike and John

"Do you ever use your blinker?"
"Only when I think about to hit somebody"-Josh B. and me

"I hope he knows the closest thing I have to hawaiian clothes is plain black" -Me

"Why do they give me the crack babies? WHY?"-Linda

"I have vampire teeth. It's useful for when people punch me in the face....which is often." -Nate

"OMG HEY!!!!!!! JOSH I HAVE LUNCH SECOND PERIOD AND HERE'S A LIST OF MY SCHEDULE WILL YOU COME SEE ME?!"-crazy psycho girl outside

"I think he can sit on a bayonet. *like 5 minutes later* Did I say bayonet? I meant a five foot long sword that will clean out his body cavity so utterly painfully that the very thought of taking a dump will scare him to his grave." -Erin

"I just wanted you to know that through that mic I can hear everything you say."
"Hey Edgar...I have to pee...so if you hear noises just think of it as waterfall sounds." -Edgar and Josh

"Have I asked you that a lot sweetie?"
"Yes"
"oh I'm sorry"
"In fact you've asked me that 137 times"
"wow....keeping count now...." -Raymoth and me

"Why is he staring at me?"
"I don't know, ask him."
"HEY CREEPY GUY WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?!" -Bianca and me

ok I've tried but I can't think of enough to go in between.....so these people will be in succession of each other.....

"I know that, but you see, regardless of what I know... the images that are transfered from you to me don't care" -Erin

"maybe if I lock myself in a room with purple bunnies I won't think about it "
"Nah man the purple bunnies would eat you alive" -Erin and me

and these final ones are from Josh B.

"she slobbered all over me like a dog, man. It was like lick, lick, lick all over my face. She was psycho."

"Y'all know God created people on the 6th day. So what did he do for the other 5? He was just like,"Poof grass.....poof animals............ok I really don't know if "poof" was said but you get my point."

"And if you wanna know what the point of that was....there wasn't one so just forget that."

My sentiments exactly....
Regular non-quote blogger will continue soon.

As promised.......more funny quotes...

"USA won ANOTHER medal! That's 101.... don't you get tired celebrating all the time? When Mexico wins I'm like "Yes! WEEEEEEE"--Sergio

"ZA DUCK FLIES AT MIDNIGHT!"
"Soy sauce!!"-Mine and Erin's secret code

"They think CCM is bad? Well.....let's be wild for a little while. *turns radio to a CCM station*"--Aunt Welda

"Have you ever washed?"
"Uh........yeah...several times actually. I would like to think of myself as a regular at that."
".......NO! The PAINTING!"--Dale and me

"Hey let me ask y'all somethin'. Is a peach supposed to be hard or soft?"--Creepy guy at Wal-Mart.

"I see me'n'you livin' on two acres o' land in a nice doublewide."-Bobby

"Bobby, would you believe the Japanese have long arms and tiny fingers?"--Wayne to my dad while he was trying to fix my car

"Let's see Bobby and Marvin's number one hit: "Just A Diggin'" Oh thank you folks, there's enough Bobby to go around. Here we go......"--Dad

"I looked out my car window and oh what did I see
A big ol' pile of trash
I know it's just for me
A big old rusted knife
A bunch of old beer cans
My heart has always belonged here
This is one thing that don't go to Uncle Sam
Let me tell you about my love
I feel like I should
It's called the Cherokee Landfill
And boy it sure looks good!!
Just a diggin'!
Ohhh, just a diggin'!"--Just A Diggin'.....I forgot the rest though

"My legs look fat"--Sergio

"I'm gonna go up there right now and give them what for!!!!!.......tomorrow"--Me

"Where's the bathroom?"
"*puts bucket down in front of me* Have fun. There's some leaves outside if you need toilet paper"--Wayne

Well I believe it's time to add some funny quotes in here.....enjoy....and congratulate me on my return to the blogger....


"Hey Heather, what's an easier way to say Electronic Video Systems Manager?"
"...video dude..."--Lance and me

"I need a job man. I'm a loser. Even the birds got jobs. They clean the crap outta the road. *sticks head out window* HEY BIRDS!!! ARE YOU GUYS HIRING?!!!!"--Bianca at 6:30 A.M. running on 27 hours no sleep.

"I think she should "accidentally" fall off a cliff"--Me

"I had all these funny quotes I was going to add, but I forgot them all."
"That happens to me a lot....and I get mad."--Sergio and me

"I likes me shirt"--Ryan

"Quit!"
"Quit what?"
"Hmm....I forgot.....carry on then."--Josh and me

"What happened to your flip flops!?!"
"Hub was makin' fun of me"
"So you wore those shiny things and tried to pass them off as shoes?"
"hahahaha yeah.......wait........what?"--Josh B. and me

"I got the kind with wings (maxi pads) so they don't fly away."--Bianca

"heatherej!!!"
"Hey! Are you drunk?"
"ewjfoaweij nowea. Guess whatet!"
"What?"
"I wenteg skewiing!"
"Really? Where?"
"Downs tehw stairsss!! It was aewetsomeet. You sfehwould comej negxt tiemw. Thiset stupeied keytboard wtoent tyepw right."--Jay and me

"Heather......*gets down on one knee* Will you marry me? *holds up cheap $1.00 fake flowers*"--Bianca

"For my first assignment they sent me to videotape the tornado!"
"Why didn't you do us all a favor and capture the center of it too."
"Because I di--.....HEY! That was an insult!" --Josh

"I want something from dairy queen."
"Me too, why don't you go get it?"
"Why don't you go with me?"
"Ok."
"Good, then you can get gas for me."
".....YOU SET ME UP!!"
"HAHAHA you thought you would get out of it!!"--Mom and me

"Rockin' like Dockin......with stockin's...."
".....real clever Tim...." --Tim


"These are the confessions of a dangerous mind"
"What?"
"Huh?"
"Who confessed what?"
"Eh?"
"What was dangerous?"
"Who confessed what dangerously?"
"No.....what? I'm confused"
"I'm confused too."
"You started it!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did what?"
"I forgot"--Debi and me

"If Heather was a teacher she would fix those kids."
"That's because she would shoot them all."
"You say that like it's a BAD thing"--Mom and Linda



More to follow as I think of them..

There's a blog "Blogger" has noticed recently called "Palm Addict" and I keep reading it as "Pam Addict" and I keep thinking,"I have to tell Pam someone out there is obsessed with her!". That was my random bit of info for the evening. Oh wait, I have one more. There was a girl at the video store who asked me if you spelled "taken" with an "i". I wanted to go,"YOU are the reason I dye my hair!" But at least she knows how to twirl her hair and chew gum at the same time.

It never fails. Just when I think plans are off for good, they come back on. Wade told me tonight that filming is back on track and will begin in May. Finally I can get out of this hell hole and start life like I wanted to.

Oh, and by the way Ashely...you messed with the wrong person on the wrong day. I know you're probably sitting there trying to get your brain to figure out so many words at once and after it's taken you 2 hours to read this you're going to say,"I'm not scared." Well you don't have to be....yet.

I never thought I would see this. I know the Power Rangers have been on ever since I was in 5th grade....can't remember if they were on longer than that, but...'tever. Anyway...so the guy that was the green ranger...then the white ranger...then the gold ranger....then...who knows. He kept leaving and then coming back as something different. Anyway...mom was watching tv this morning and she told me to come in there because he was on tv. I go in there, and he's a TEACHER now! And he has a receding hairline!!! Last time I saw him he was a high school kid with a ponytail. Now he's a teacher with a receding hairline! I feel so old. He doesn't look as good now either. Such a shame.

Yesterday I thought,"I wanna talk to Gail. I'm gonna call her." So I called her prepared to talk to the answering machine like all the other 239857239857 times I've called. She picked up and I talked to her for a while and told her that I still haven't talked to Addison since July. and she said,"Well guess who just pulled up. Addison! We'll nip this in the bud right now!" So she went outside and handed the phone to him and he seemed excited to talk to me. I asked him how he was doing and he said,"Good now that I'm talking to you." heh. We talked for a while about old memories and new ones and such. So everything seems to be ok between us, which makes me really happy.

One of mom's students died the other day. She was only 7 and she had a brain tumor. It's very sad when someone so young doesn't even get the chance to really live.

~Liebe ist nur ein Traume und nicht mehr.

Why is it that i'm almost 20 years old, on the verge of fame, and stuck doing a kiddie talent show to help out my mother? :: sigh:: Such is life, I suppose.

I came to the realization last night about something I've been wanting for a very long time. That realization is this: I may never have it. But I was not made for that. At least not yet. I was made to sing. And that is what I'm going to do until the other situation presents itself to me. Godspeed.

As of yesterday, I am now offically a "recording artist". A record producer last night confirmed his desire to work with me. Beware world. I begin the recording process as soon as possible....and let me assure you. I will not rest until I am number 1. For those of my friends I haven't told yet...I'm telling you now. I told you I would get here. And here I stand. :D

There is trouble in my mind
There is dark
There is dark and there is light
Lay your hands over my eyes
As I look deep
Through valleys deep and wide
Across the borderline
For the empire in my mind

You are the reason I don't sleep
You are the light
That's breaking through the leaves
And you know how hard I try
To believe
I have something good inside
All the barricades I climb
For the empire in my mind

I have known love somewhere in time
I've been lifted up
I've looked honor in the eyes
I have no reason I have no rhyme
I cannot deny
There's a darkness that's inside
I am guilty by design
And now I realize
That temptations made me blind
To the empire in my mind

There is no order
And there is chaos
And there is crime
There is no one home tonight
in the empire of my mind

There is no distance that I don't see
I do have a world
No limit to my reach
I wish I would
I wish I might
To see a line tonight
Separating wrong from right
As I am only born to try
And maybe that's the reason why
I'm afraid someday I 'll find
There is no empire in my mind


~~it was then, and only then, that she began to cry.

Valentine's Day=Crap. However, I like the presents I get from my parents. Thank you Valentine's Day. I finally got what I've been wanting/needing for a while now.

After 4 hours, I finally figured out another part of my keyboard. My blood pressure medication is probably going to cost as much as that keyboard if I have to spend so much more time on it again. Hey, Korg, how about making a USER FRIENDLY KEYBOARD next time? Eh? Eh?

SCREW YOU BLOGGER FOR MAKING MY WORDS COME UP FUNNY!!!....now that I have that out of the way....

I hate Valentine's Day for 2 main reasons. If you are alone, you are reminded of the fact while everyone else plays kissy-face with their significant other. And, if you have someone, you have to get them something. I think everyone knows by now that I am terrified of getting presents. Yes...that IS what I said...don't re-read that, I'll re-type it so your brain doesn't fry....I AM TERRIFIED OF GETTING PRESENTS.

It's amazing how some people doubt me...even though they should learn by now. When I say I'm going to win...I win. So I would just like to take this moment and say to Miranda: ahem...:: clears throat momentarily:: I WON. But I would like to thank you for losing...otherwise I couldn't have won. Feel free to try again any time. To everyone else who probably has no idea what I'm babbling about, Jon is officially back in my life. As we all knew he would be. :: raises fist in triumph::

"Hey baby, wanna join me in my coffin?"-Me

Final Fantasy X...the greatest game ever. Final Fantasy X-2.....sucks. Danke Gott, that the game got less asinine as it went on....however not by much. The things you had to do to complete the game gave me a headache from its stupidity. I.E. Giving some lunatic woman a backrub while she moans as if having the greatest orgasm on record. What genius thought that up.

I'm really tired of stupid people. People in general, but stupid people moreso. People who make the asinine statement of: "You can't miss it if you never had it...you don't know what it's like." It's like this. If I get scalded by water...I can make a pretty good assumption of what it's going to feel like if I stick my hand in the fire. I have never wanted to break somebody's neck so badly. But...moving on...

Ich muß Gefühle jetzt kämpfen, die ich nie vorher kämpfen mußte. Jemand so zu wünschen ist nicht recht. Aber dennoch... noch I Hoffnung. Eine verbotene Hoffnung. Warum? Warum muß ich durch das gehn?

It is done. It took from 2 A.M. to 8:15 A.M. but it is finally finished. Maybe now that I've 'revamped' my blog more people will visit. I did much better than I thought I would. Although I don't know what it says about me considering how long it took.

I got the Shinedown and Chevelle CD's today. I must remember to thank Pam later for the tip on Shinedown.

I have 5 months to become fluent in German before I leave. My German is good enough now as it is, but I would rather be more fluent so they don't think,'Stupid American....coming here expecting us all to speak English.' However I must still decide what I want to do before then. The Army or wherever Wade plans to take me, heh. All I know is there's only one thing I want right now, and he's in Germany. That's all I care about. Everything else is just mundane and pointless. Something's got to change. I don't care if it's me or if it's the situation, but something's got to give. I can't take much more. That's all for now from me....btw....good luck on the SAT's Pam. I'm sure you'll do great.

~~'When I am old sitting in my electric chair I will tell my children all about Rammstein and by then music will have changed and they will think I'm stupid.' 'Uh..your electric chair?' 'yes, because I am old and can't walk well.' 'Do you mean wheelchair? Because electric chair is what they fry people in.' 'Oh...yes then is wheelchair.'--Sergio and me

I'm going to Germany in June. If at all possible, I'm not coming back.

Jack: So you're a terrorist huh? How many 7-11 stores do you own? What? Come on, if you're a terrorist you have to own at least ONE 7-11!!
Scott: Man ain't nobody scared of nobody in this town.