We really didn't have Christmas this year. I did get that German diplomat training thing I wanted, but with my aunt dying,
it's kind of hard to celebrate. I must still order my one ring though, muahaha.

I have a secret no one knows
I hide it well, but sometimes it shows
A living lie, a powerful fear
Every truth is forgotten here
Worlds are created where none should have been
The truth comes out, but is buried again
Under more and more lies that breed from pain
A promise forgotten, lost in the flame
I have failed you where I swore I would not
Left you alone and left memories to rot
For a precious second I admit the truth
Writing it down so it is safe from you
So close are the words upon my lips
But instead I write them from my fingertips
Then I throw the words into the fire
Burning with my own foolish desire
To live a life that is not my own
But I must go on so no one knows

The guys at the Police Station are crazy. When they get together they can never be serious. I was looking through the books where they list what calls they've had during a shift and someone listed a woman as "Psycho chick". There were "job ads" listed for drunk/drug junkies such as "Lil' Daddy is available to speak in schools to tell children about drugs. He requires payment in Crank or equivilent." Someone had also marked "Anthrax" on the sugar container and drawn on the people on the FBI Most wanted list.

Then again, some people are just as stupid. The Medicine Shoppe was broken into the other day. The robber broke the window pane and simply unlocked the door and walked in. The owner walked toward the door with a cardboard box lid and some scotch tape. The detective asked him what he was doing and the owner replied,"oh, I'm securing the door." Yeah, real secure. He finally settled on the cardboard box top and duct tape. People in this town impress me to a degree of stupidity I have never experienced before.

A friend from our church came a few days ago. Unfortunately there my underwear still lay. Yes, quite embarrassing because it still lays there. I have a puppy now who likes to urinate all over the floor whenever possible. I am not amused. He found my underwear laying beside the steps the other day. Then he proceeded to pick it up, flinging it around wildly for all the world to see. I tried to chase him, but to no avail. As of yet, I have no clue where my underwear is. He also stole my bra this morning, put it on his head, and dashed off into the yard in front of everyone. I was once again not amused. I feel like I have post-natal depression. Yes, life sucks.

It is many, many days later. I have come to yet another realization: A man from our church has stopped by the house with his fairly attractive son and there, beside the steps, sits my pair of underwear. Unmoved. I live a sad life indeed if I cannot get up off my lazy butt and remove that underwear to save myself further embarrassment. Yes, I am lazy indeed.

I went to Barbizon Sunday. Quite fun I must say. I will never get why guys flirt with you in hopes of "scoring" when it's obvious they excel in pouring comments on thick like concrete but lack the substances necessary to make it solid. No, no they are devious yet stupid. The more I resist, the more they follow. When will they learn I may be a model, but that does not make me dim-witted and brainless. Yes, young patowan, you still have much to learn. And since when do you kiss somebody by making your lips shrink as if you've just won a chugging contest with lemon juice?

I have nothing else to say for once. I was thinking the other night....you know...I'm doing pretty well for myself and I'm a great person. Oh no...no self-esteem problems here :) And on an unrelated note: I'M GETTING A GERMAN SHEPHERD PUPPY! Christoph would be proud muahaha.