I spent 3 hours tonight changing a toilet seat. Yes ladies and gentlemen....a toilet seat. My father rigged it somehow or someway and it was impossible to remove. Hercules would have even had trouble. But...I prevailed. As always. Although I fear I smell somewhat toilet-scented.

I used to wonder why I like what I do. Now I don't care. We are who we are because that's what we are, for whatever reason or another. The things I have become obsessed with would scare even the most insane. But do I care? No. I have one chance to live and I'm going to live it as dangerously as possible. Why am I rambling? I don't know. All I know is more and more I find myself missing the past. Something I always swore I would never do. They always say,"There are better things ahead than any you leave behind." If that's so....how come the past always looks so appealing and the future so dismal? There are still questions that go unanswered. Like....why do I love someone only to lose them? Why do I find peace in the dispair? Why am I a nocturnal masochist who loves fire? Why does holding a gun in my hand make me feel happy? The world may never know. All I know is I'm different. I always have been. Sorry....I'm still babbling....but I have messages to give out....

To everyone who used me: Screw you
To everyone who said they loved me and then did me wrong: screw you even more
To Pinky: You deserve the best for supporting my dillusional views of reality
To Lori: Ditto. Remember...."If I go down, I'm taking you with me so I won't be lonely." lol
To people I haven't met: You don't want to know me
To people who love me: You can't handle it and it's too dangerous....don't bother.

What point was there to this blog? None....but I figure I should blog more even if I don't have anything to say. I will say I have 2 good friends that I trust. They have finally earned my trust after knowing them 5+ years. They are the only two. That's all I have to say about that. Now I will leave you with my theme song for the moment....

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again,
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did,
It has not healed with time...
It just shot down my spine.
You look so beautiful tonight,
Remind me how you laid us down,
And gently smiled,
Before you destroyed my life...

Would you find it in your heart,
To make this go away,
And let me rest in pieces?
(Let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart,
To make this go away,
And let me rest in pieces?
(Let me rest in pieces)

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again,
You got much closer than I thought you did,
I'm in your reach,
You held me in your hands...

But could you find it in your heart,
To make this go away,
And let me rest in pieces?
(Let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart,
To make this go away,
And let me rest in pieces?
(Let me rest in pieces)

Could you find, could you find in your heart?
(Could you find, could you let me rest in pieces)
Could you find, could you find in your heart?
(Could you find, could you let me rest in pieces)

Time: 4 am
Location: Police Department
Problem: Tiredness intervenes with sanity

Scott: OMG! DEACON FINKEL! ahahaahaaaaa!!!!! Who would name their kid Deacon Finkel?!.....that's some funny shit...I gotta write that down....:: takes out pen and writes name on hand::
Me: What's so funny about it?
Scott: Finkel.....it sounds like fecal.....get it? hahahahaaaaa
Me: ah...right.
Scott: HEY SLINKY! hahaha Slinky's a funny word. anyway...check out this name....DEACON....FINKEL!!!! aaaaaaahahahaha.
Slinky: Yeah...right...that's hilarious Scott.

Scott: Yeah so this guy was talking about the third riech (reesh) earlier....
Me: You mean Third Reich (Reish)?
Scott: No he said Riech
Me: The third smell?
Scott: Oh is that what he was saying? hahahaha I didn't think it sounded right.

Jamie: Yeah I know German. Spriken see doosh?
Me: yyyeah....douchebag....
Jamie: hey cool, is that really a German word?!
Me: .....no.

Scott: I stopped a Spanish guy the other day. He was like,"me no speaka no english." So I said,'Okay then...Apague por favor el coche y tome las llaves de la ignici?n. Despu�s camine del coche y ponga sus manos en la capilla. Usted ir? ahora a encarcelar, y su mama es una vaca gorda grande. Tenga una tarde
agradable." Which is "Please turn off the car and take the keys out of the ignition. Then step out of the car and place your hands on the hood. You will be going to jail now, and your mom is a big fat cow. Have a pleasant evening.

Scott: How do you say 'Stop!' in German?
Me:....stop. (schtopp).
Scott: oh....okay.....well.....how do you say.."stop, I am the police!"
Me: Stop, Ich bin der Polizei.
Scott: Heyy cool.
Me: or just say,'Stop laufenden idioten, oder ich brenne Ihren Kopf weg durch.'
Scott: What's that?
Me: Stop running idiot, or I'll blow your head off.
Scott: :: contemplates for a second:: yeahhh I like that.
Me: Hey you're a sergeant right?
Scott: yeah.
Me: Well then just say,'Ich bin der Wachtmeister.' and they should stop.
Scott: Wachtmeister?
Me: yeah...it means 'police sergeant.'
Scott: Wachtmeister?!
Me: Ja, Wachmeister!
Scott: dude....that sounds like whacked mister. I am NOT saying that.

Scott: I recommend Finding Nemo to anyone who feels like laughing their ass off for an hour and a half.

Drunk guy 1:I stopped in the middle of the street because the clutch is bad.
Scott: The clutch or the brake?
Drunk guy 1: um...both?
Scott: Nice try.
Drunk guy 2: Yeah, and he be all stoppin' and jerkin' in da road cause o' dat clutch too!
Drunk guy 1: SHUTUP FOO'!
Drunk guy 2: No you shutup!
Drunk guy 1: YO MAMA
Drunk guy 2: Oh das it...
Jamie: Hey guys. Why don't you put on this pretty bracelet for me..
Both: Heyyy yeah! bracelets!! What they look like?
Jamie :: handcuffs them:: ..this...